


Winter Wishes

by seriestrash



Category: Andi Mack (TV), Tyrus - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-17 04:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16968102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seriestrash/pseuds/seriestrash
Summary: The cold season is upon them and Cyrus finds himself wishing for a lot this festive season, many of those wishes happen to involve TJ.





	1. Hanukkah

**Author's Note:**

> On tumblr I am hosting a 12 days of tyrus (info at @12daysoftyrus on tumblr) for my contribution I'm writing a 6 chapter fic including those prompts.
> 
> Also, incase it is unclear the days mentioned in this chapter are the sixth and seventh night of Hanukkah (the Saturday and second Sunday)

It’s early in the afternoon on a cold Saturday in December. Cyrus is out braving the frosty bite in the air after his mother requested he run to the grocery store to pick up a few last minute things before they go to her parents house for a quiet Hanukkah celebration.

Cyrus is juggling a grocery bag in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other when he spots TJ further up the street walking in his direction. TJ is lightly bopping along to whatever music is playing in the headphones he wears, his Jackson Street Gym shirt is framed by an unzipped sweatshirt that swings gently as he moves. Cyrus smiles at the sight of TJ even though he hadn’t noticed him in return. As they near each other, TJ looks up to smile at the passerby and realises who it is.

“Cyrus.” TJ sounds pleasantly surprised. He pulls the headphones out and wears a smile that reaches his eyes.

“Funny running into you here.” Cyrus greets him with a wide grin of his own.

“On the corner of Jackson Street, where I work.” TJ says with a smirk, “A real coincidence I’m sure.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not stalking you.” Cyrus jokes with a soft chuckle before giving a playful look as if to say, ‘or am I?'

“And here I was thinking you were lingering outside my work ready to bring me flowers.” TJ jokes as he motions to the bouquet Cyrus holds. TJ’s look of mock offence makes Cyrus laugh further. Once the chuckles tapers off, TJ shifts almost nervously on his feet, “So,” TJ says with his eyes resting on the bouquet again before flicking his stare back to Cyrus’, “You got a date or something?”

“Oh yeah.” Cyrus exaggerates a smirk as he nods, “She’s an older woman. Like seventy years older,” Cyrus cant keep a straight face anymore, “She’s my grandma.”

TJ’s expression scrunches at the joke and he shakes his head with a quiet laugh.

“It’s Hanukkah.” Cyrus smiles, “We’re going to see my mom’s parents tonight.”

“Oh, it’s Hanukkah?” TJ questions and Cyrus bops his head even though it was rhetorical. “So is tonight like the big night?”

“Uh, no.” Cyrus shakes his head, “We’re just having a quiet night at their house.”

“So when is the main day?” TJ asks. “I know Hanukkah is eight nights but is it the last one that’s the biggest?”

Cyrus fights the urge to smile and TJ notices, “Oh no, have I said something stupid?” TJ frowns and drops his gaze to his shoes with embarrassment.

Cyrus wears a kind smile. “Lighting the menorah and saying the blessings each night is more or less the same but it’s not like halloween or Christmas where everything builds up to one big celebration. Some families make a bigger deal out of the last night than they do the other seven but for a lot it’s just family time during Hanukkah, some nights might be bigger than others. For me it really just depends on what family we’re seeing on the day.”

“Oh.” TJ says and he appears to be genuinely interested in what Cyrus had to say, “I didn’t really know that… I guess if I’m being honest I don’t really know much about Hanukkah at all.”

Cyrus was used to people not understanding his traditions as Hanukkah tended to fade into the background as everyone gets into the Christmas spirit. Cyrus was also used to having to explain Hanukkah to different people, he actually kind of liked it because it meant he got to talk about his favourite time of year. Cyrus especially liked getting his friends involved in Hanukkah.

“Well if you wanted to understand it a little better you’re welcome to come over one night this Hanukkah.” Cyrus politely invites TJ.

“Really?” TJ seems surprised, “I wouldn’t be like, intruding or something?”

“No way. My mom loves when I bring my friends over for Hanukkah.” Cyrus beams.

“Okay. That sounds really cool.” TJ nods. “I’d like that.”

“How about tomorrow night at my mom’s house?” Cyrus asks. “I mean you can come with me to my grandma’s tonight but she’s a cheek pincher.” 

TJ rolls his head forward with a chuckle. “Tomorrow night.” He nods with a smile. “I’m there.”

-

The following day, Cyrus is all too happy to dress in the sweater his mom laid out for him to wear whilst indulging in an evening with family. As the night unfolds, Cyrus' mom’s home fills with faces of people he loves. Cyrus sits on the floor of the living room with his two younger brothers, Mason - Todd’s son from a previous marriage and Noah - Sharon and Norman’s son - as they teach Cyrus a new game they made up using the dreidel. Cyrus had previously taught them both how to play properly but the young boys found it more interesting to make up their own set of rules and Cyrus was happy to go along with it.

Although Cyrus was enjoying the quality time with his young siblings, he couldn’t help but repeatedly check his watch as he eagerly awaits the arrival of TJ. The doorbell rings and Cyrus springs up from his position and looks around embarrassed thinking he might have raised suspicion amongst his family members. Although the older adults didn’t seem to be alerted, Cyrus’ two younger brothers looked up at him with pouty faces.

“I’ll be back to play soon.” Cyrus gives them both a crooked smile, “And don’t think I wont notice you taking jellybeans from my pile!” Cyrus gives them a playfully stern look each before making his way to the front door where his father, Norman has already answered it.

“Is it-“ Cyrus deflates when he realises it’s his older stepbrother - also from Todd’s previous marriage - and his girlfriend, “Oh hi, Jared.”

“Gee, Cy, I’m really glad to see you too.” Jared jokes sarcastically before lunging forward and pinning Cyrus in a headlock.

“This is exactly why I’m never excited to see you.” Cyrus groans as he tries to wriggle free but Jared’s grip is too strong and Cyrus is subjected to an all too familiar hair ruffle.

“Give Cy a break.” Allison, Jared’s girlfriend says with a soft giggle as she steps around them and into the house.

Cyrus could hear his father chuckling at the sight before he left to escort Allison into the festivities. Cyrus continues to wrestle with Jared and the pair end up out on the porch. The two circle as Cyrus struggles to free himself and when Cyrus spins towards the street his gaze catches a confused looking TJ at the bottom of the porch steps. Jared and Cyrus both stop the struggle when they spot the basketball captain although Jared doesn’t release Cyrus from his grip.

“Hey, you made it.” Cyrus laughs nervously in his stepbrothers headlock. “TJ, this is my brother Jared, Jared, this is my friend TJ.”

“Hey.” TJ lets out a quiet chuckle and sends a wave in Jared’s direction.

Jared gives Cyrus’ hair another ruffle before finally releasing him with an amused smirk as Cyrus scrambles to fix his do.

“Nice to meet you.” Jared grins at TJ before turning to Cyrus, “I’m going to go find my dad and say hello.”

“Meet you in there, jerk.” Cyrus grumbles as he straightens up his outfit.

“Suddenly I’m glad I’m the older brother in my family.” TJ jokes as he makes his way up the porch steps.

“Jared loves to torment me.” Cyrus says feeling lightly embarrassed.

“He’s your stepbrother, right?” TJ questions.

“Yeah, he’s Todd’s son from his first marriage.” Cyrus explains.

“So does that mean Mason is here too?” TJ asks and Cyrus’ expression curls into one of surprise.

“You know Mason?” Cyrus asks, he knew TJ had met his parents before but he didn’t know he had met his stepbrother.

“And Noah, of course.” TJ nods casually but then smiles at Cyrus’ rather adorable look of confusion. “I officially knew one other person at your Bar Mitzvah party and Buffy hated me back then,” TJ chuckles, “If I wasn’t aggravating Buffy I was talking to random people, most of them were your family.”

“Or when you weren’t helping me open tricky bottles of apple cider.” Cyrus smiles back fondly on the memory.

“Exactly.” TJ smiles too. “Your Aunt Ruth- Very chatty by the way.”

“Amazing.” Cyrus says to himself more than TJ, “Aunt Ruth isn’t here tonight but Mason is, he’s inside playing with Noah.”

“He is?” TJ questions. “Isn’t Noah your dad and Sharon’s son?” TJ knowing this wasn’t as surprising as TJ had officially met Noah before as he had hung out at Cyrus’ fathers house.

“Yep.” Cyrus nods, “They’re both inside too.”

“Oh, so all four of your parents are here?” TJ looks surprised.

“Yes.” Cyrus beams with excitement. “You’ve come for my favourite night of Hanukkah.”

Cyrus' family might not put importance into one single night of Hanukkah but this was certainly Cyrus’ favourite one because without fail every year he’d get one night with his divorced parents together and since their new marriages it would be all four of his parents along with his mix of step and half brothers. Now having TJ be apart of it made the night feel extra special for Cyrus.

“Come inside,” Cyrus ushers TJ in with a grin.

“I like your sweater by the way.” TJ says as he follows Cyrus. 

“Thank you.” Cyrus grins, “Look, I can light the candles-” Cyrus lights the flames of the menorah on his sweater via their reversible sequins. This makes TJ chuckle fondly. 

Once inside, Cyrus brings TJ to the kitchen where his four parents gathered with Jared and Allison. They each politely greet TJ and make him instantly feel welcomed.

“Thank you for having me here tonight.” TJ smiles at Leslie. “If there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know.”

“Thank you dear but you’re fine, you two go off and have some fun.” Leslie’s smile is kind, “Dinner shouldn’t be too far off.”

“We can hang out in my room.” Cyrus says with a grin but before the two could get past the living room he’s nearly tackled by Mason and Noah.

TJ gives them both a happy high-five each which visually cements in Cyrus’ mind that TJ had previously interacted with them both prior to tonight.

“You said you were coming back to play?” Mason looks hopeful.

“Oh yeah.” Cyrus furrows his brows, “But TJ and I were going to hang out…”

“I’ll play.” TJ wears a goofy smile, “But someone’s going to have to teach me the rules.”

Cyrus turns to give TJ and ‘are you sure?’ look but he’s already crouching down to sit with the children. Cyrus joins the three and looks at his pile of jellybeans which has seemed to diminish in his absence.

Cyrus quickly explains to TJ what the dreidel is and what is written on each side. “They’re letters from the Hebrew alphabet, Nun, Gimel, Hei and Shin. Together they make an acronym, nes gadol haya sham which translates to-” 

“A great miracle happened there.” Mason excitedly finishes. 

“Exactly.” Cyrus smiles at his younger brother. “So you were listening when I taught you how to play?” Cyrus turns back to TJ, “The miracle being-” 

“A one day supply of oil lasting eight days.” This time is TJ that cuts in proudly with an answer. 

Cyrus coaxes his head in bewilderment. “I thought you didn’t know much about Hanukkah?” 

“I didn’t.” TJ admits, “But I did some research last night.” 

“You did?” Cyrus’ smile creeps wider. 

TJ just gives Cyrus a small smile before turning his attention to the two youngsters that are patiently waiting to play the game. “Right, so how do I play?” 

“Well I explained what the dreidel really says but Mason and Noah have made up their own meanings.” Cyrus laughs, “Each side is a colour corresponding with a colour of jellybean...” Cyrus goes on to explain the new game and the four of them get quite competitive as they play. They continue right through until Sharon lets them know that dinner is ready. 

“I’m starving.” TJ jumps up from his place and makes his way over to the table.  Cyrus watches TJ with a smile as he approaches the table and he looks to Leslie as if to ask her permission. Leslie picks up on it and tells TJ to sit wherever he likes.

“I want to sit next to TJ!” Mason comes charging over.

“No I want to sit next to TJ!” Noah rushes over too.

“Hey, good thing I have two sides.” TJ shares a goofy grin between the two.

“Hey?” Cyrus looks over at them with a frown. “What if I wanted to sit next to TJ?”

TJ gives Cyrus an unapologetic shrug.

You can sit next to me my little cookie pie.” Leslie squeezes Cyrus into a side hug.

“ _Mom!_ ” Cyrus groans embarrassed. TJ chuckles softly and with rosy cheeks Cyrus joins his mother at the table, he ends up directly across from TJ with his mother on one side and his father on the other.

Dinner unfolds and the vibe in the room is joyous. The adults quiz Allison and Jared about their college studies, Mason and Noah take up most of TJ’s attention whilst Cyrus sits back and happily watches his family and friend. 

Leslie explains a few of the foods to TJ incase they were foreign to him but the basketballer ate everything seemingly without question. Then it’s Cyrus’ father who turns his attention - and subsequently the attention in the room - towards TJ. 

“TJ, are you and your family planning anything special for the holidays?” Norman asks. 

“No, nothing special,” TJ grows sheepish, “Sort of just waiting for them to be over…” TJ’s last statement struck Cyrus as odd and the basketball captain did his best to avoid Cyrus’ quizzical gaze. 

“You’re not a big Christmas fan?” Norman further questions. 

“Not really.” TJ shrugs in place.

“At least the break off school will be nice.” Norman smiles trying to make TJ feel more comfortable.

“Now that’s something to look forward to.” TJ smiles.

“TJ, if you’re not doing anything your family you’re welcome to join us on our ski trip this year.” Leslie says genuinely and Cyrus’ excitement level soared. 

“Really?” TJ seems surprised. 

“Oh course.” Leslie smiles. “Andi and Buffy are both coming this year too and Jonah is still waiting for his parents to decide.” 

TJ appears to look uncertain as he finds Cyrus’ stare across the table. “It will be so much fun.” Cyrus nods his approval. 

“Says the lousy skier.” Jared teases from further down the table. 

“Leave Cyrus alone.” Todd scolds his oldest son. “I’m sure Jared will be more polite during the drive to the lodge.” 

TJ thanks both Leslie and Todd for the invite and says he’ll speak to his mother about it when he goes home. 

Once everyone is full from dinner - although they each know desserts were still to come - Todd leads the group in lighting the menorahs. The family gather around at the front of the house where a few menorahs were sat on a table. 

“There’s more than one?” TJ questions quietly. 

“Yeah, that one is mine.” Cyrus matches TJ’s soft tone as he points out his one.

Todd holds the matches and lights each shamash either an adult or child was holding. Everyone starts to say the blessing. TJ had been given a sheet of paper so he could try and follow along, which for the most part he did but the boy looked extremely lost and a little embarrassed by his attempts. During the second blessing Cyrus gives TJ an encouraging smile for his efforts and this seems to put him a little more at ease. 

After Cyrus lit the first candle he goes to pass the shamash to TJ who seems panicked. “Are you sure?” TJ mumbles to Cyrus as if Cyrus’ entire family wasn’t watching them. 

Cyrus again smiles encouragingly and hands the shamash to TJ, their fingers brushing against each others in the process. Although he was sheepish, TJ rather proudly lights the next candle. The two middle schoolers exchange a warm smile afterwards. The two continue to take turns lighting the next candle on Cyrus’ menorah.

After the menorah lighting is complete everyone makes their way back towards the living and dining area for a more informal desert. 

TJ throughly enjoys a good helping of the sufganiyot although he has to revert to calling them doughnuts as he butchered the name. 

After a night full of family, friends and filling food, Leslie wraps up two extra sufganiyots for TJ to take home to his twin siblings.

It’s not until Cyrus is walking TJ out for the night that they finally get a moment alone. 

“You’ve got to light the extra candle now.” TJ steps forward and uses his index finger to ‘light’ the sequins on the next candle of Cyrus’ sweater. This gesture made Cyrus’ skin tickle with goosebumps and he was thankful his Hanukkah sweater concealed them. “I can’t guarantee these are going to be given to the twins,” TJ laughs as he holds his wrapped desserts, “They’re _so_ good.” 

“I’ve been eating them all week, I’m going to turn into one if I’m not careful.” Cyrus jokes. 

“Thanks for inviting me tonight.” TJ says. 

“Thanks for coming, sorry my brothers bothered you all night.” Cyrus apologises.

“No bother at all.” TJ insists, “I had a lot of fun.” 

“You did come for my favourite night.” Cyrus’ smile is small but full of warmth. 

“Because all your parents come together for it?” TJ questions. 

Cyrus nods. “Every year during Hanukkah I bounce around between mom and dads houses. Extended family on both sides come into town or sometimes we’ll go and see them but every year without fail there is one night of Hanukkah where all four of my parents get together and we have a big celebration.” 

“For a divorced couple your parents get along really well.” TJ lightly kicks the ground and something about it felt like TJ had spoken a thought out loud.   

“My dad makes a few digs at Todd here and there but he is only ever joking,” Cyrus lets out a single laugh, “My mom is his best friend.” 

“How often does that happen for split couples?” TJ looks away. 

“I know, I’m really lucky.” Cyrus acknowledges, “My parents were high school sweethearts and they got married right after college and then had me. I think they both denied it for a while but they weren't in love anymore - although they constantly assure me I was born out of love -” Cyrus pauses to laugh before continuing, “They split up when I was two but I don’t really remember that.” 

“You have a really nice family.” TJ’s smile is soft. 

“Well you’ll get to spend more time with us on the ski trip - well my mom, Todd and Jared.” Cyrus corrects, “Mason will be with his mom.”

“I don’t have to come to that.” TJ shakes his head. 

“But I want you to come,” Cyrus frowns, “Only if you want to come that is..” Cyrus adds quickly. 

“Your mom invited me, you invited your friends.” TJ is shy as they broach the subject, “It kind of feels like a pity invite.” 

“That’s not what this is at all.” Cyrus’ frown deepens at TJ even having the thought, “I asked my mom if we could invite you.” 

“You did?” TJ seems unsure. 

“Yes.” Cyrus is genuine, “I was going to talk to you about it tonight but my mom beat me to it.”

“Still.” TJ shrugs a shoulder and Cyrus didn’t like that TJ still didn’t believe him but he decides not to push it much more, instead Cyrus gives TJ some information to take back to his parents. 

“So mom, Todd and I will be going on the 24th and then Jared who’s spending Christmas with his girlfriend will be driving to the lodge on the 26th. He’s taking Buffy, Andi - and Jonah if he’s allowed - in his car.” Cyrus explains, “Jared is a pain in the neck but he’s a safe driver. Your parents can talk to my mom and Todd about it if they’re unsure.”

“Okay. I’ll speak to my mom about it.” TJ nods and a car pulling up interrupts them both, “That’s my mom, I have to go.”  

“Remember to ask about the ski trip.” Cyrus adds eagerly. 

“I will,” TJ nods, “Thanks again for inviting me.” 

Cyrus watches as TJ disappears down the street in his mothers car. Cyrus can’t help but reflect on TJ’s off mood during that conversation. Cyrus’ insecurities would normally lead him to believe that this was because someone like TJ wouldn’t want to hang out with someone like himself but Cyrus knew that wasn’t the case, Cyrus believed TJ genuinely didn't understand that Cyrus _really_ wanted him there. 

Cyrus remains alone out in the cold December air for a while longer and he finds himself wishing TJ knew how much he meant to him.


	2. The Worst Christmas Ever

It’s Monday at school and Cyrus sits with his three best friends in the cafeteria during lunch.

“Do you have anything special planned for your last night of Hanukkah?” Andi questions.

“I think I’m just going to stay in and watch movies with my dad, maybe finally succumb to the food coma.” Cyrus exhales as he picks up an apple from his lunch tray and looks at it longingly, “I sure do love Hanukkah but all that greasy food for over a week-” Cyrus presses the apple to his cheek causing his friends to laugh softly at his theatrics, “-let’s just say I’m thankful for my fast metabolism or otherwise you’d have to roll me to class.”

“Did I hear that TJ came over for Hanukkah?” Jonah asks.

“Last night.” Cyrus nods and he catches sight of Andi and Buffy exchanging a glance between themselves.

“If my parents don’t have a problem with me being friends with TJ neither should you.” Cyrus’ mood deflates.

“We just care about you.” Buffy says with a small smile.

“Thanks, but you don’t have anything to worry about.” Cyrus matches her soft grin. Cyrus then ‘casually’ looks at his lunch tray and adds, “You two should try and get over your TJ grudge because I invited him skiing.” 

“You did?” Both Andi and Buffy exclaim in unison.

“Yes.” Cyrus says firmly. “And that’s all we’re going to say about that.” 

“Fine.” Buffy mumbles although something suggests she had a far bigger opinion on the matter. 

“Jonah, have your parents made up their mind yet?” Cyrus quickly shifts the focus. 

“Not yet.” Jonah shakes his head, “But if my report card comes back with good grades they’ll definitely let me.” 

“Awesome.” Cyrus nods happily. 

“I almost forgot!” Andi excitedly speaks up and this calls for everyones attention. 

“What?” Buffy asks with a her intrigue spiked.

Andi edges closer with her elbows resting on the table. “My parents agreed to let me have a Christmas party the night school ends for winter break.” The three others all express their shared excitement. 

“Can I bring Libby?” Jonah asks after the initial buzz dies down.

Andi shifts nervously in her seat, Buffy and Cyrus share a knowing look as Andi had filled them in on Libby wanting to break up with Jonah. “Sure.” Andi nods. “And Buffy you can bring Walker…” She says just as unconvincing.

“Can we invite-“ Cyrus begins but Buffy cuts him off.

“TJ.” Buffy says.

“Yeah?” Cyrus crinkles his brows wondering how he was so predictable.

“Mind if I sit with you guys?” TJ appears beside their table with a lunch tray in hand and it clicks for Cyrus that Buffy was noticing him and not predicting Cyrus wanting to invite him.

“Depends, is our fruit in danger?” Buffy quips and Cyrus sends a scolding look her way.

“Buffy.” Cyrus continues with a frown, “I already told you it wasn’t TJ that brought the gun and we should move past this.”

“It’s okay, Cyrus,” TJ lets out a sigh and shrugs his shoulder lightly, “I’m used to people blaming me for stuff I had no idea about.”

Jonah shifts uncomfortably in his seat and sports an apologetic look.

“You don’t have to ask to sit with us.” Cyrus shakes his head as he responds to TJ’s initial request to join them. “You can just sit.”

TJ gives Cyrus an appreciative smile as the younger boy frees up some space. “So what’s everyone talking about?” TJ asks as he plants himself comfortably beside Cyrus.  

“I was just telling everyone about the Christmas party my parents are letting me have.” Andi explains, “You’re welcome to come, TJ.” Cyrus knew she invited TJ for his benefit and Cyrus was genuinely appreciative of her effort.

“Thanks but I’m busy.” TJ pokes at his fruit cup with his spoon.

“I didn’t even tell you when it was?” Andi raises a brow.

Clearly caught in a lie, TJ looks up from his tray with a grimace, “I’m sorry. I just don’t really like Christmas.”

“You don’t like Christmas? Everybody likes Christmas!” Andi exclaims.

“Well, not everybody.” Cyrus tosses his head from side to side.

“You don’t count.” Andi says with a scrunched expression.

“That’s just hurtful.” Cyrus mumbles with folded arms.

“How can you not like Christmas?” Buffy asks just as dumbfounded as Andi.

“I don’t know,” TJ shrugs, “It’s an over commercialised holiday.”

“Christmas is about spending time with your family. Buffy states matter of factly and TJ continues to be dismissive and avoid any solid eye contact. “Even my mom has never missed a Christmas with me and my dad.” Buffy adds. 

“The commercial side of it is kind of fun too.” Jonah admits with a dimple exposing smirk.

“So much fun.” Andi seconds that with a nod. “I even decorated my phone case,” she shows off her handiwork.

TJ just shrugs his shoulders again in response and Cyrus sends his friends a silent look telling them to lay off.

“If you change your mind, you’re still welcome to come.” Andi says. 

“Thanks.” TJ mumbles.

-

After final bell for the day, Cyrus quickly gathers his things and makes his way towards TJ’s locker in hope that he’ll catch the basketball captain before he leaves for the day. Cyrus is in luck and reaches TJ just as he’s leaving to exit.

“Wanna walk home together?” Cyrus asks now by TJ’s side.

“Sure.” TJ favours the idea with a smile.

The two exit Jefferson Middle School together and both let out quiet gasps when they’re hit with a gust of cold wind.

“It’s already freezing and it hasn’t even started snowing yet.” TJ’s teeth almost chatter and he buries his hands in the pockets of his windbreaker.

“You know they say the longer it takes for first snowfall the worse the snow will be?” Cyrus also hides his hands in his coat pockets.

“I’ve never heard that before.” TJ says with a laugh.

Cyrus laughs too, “Good thing the ski lodge is in the mountain so it’s already snowing there. Did you talk to your parents about it last night?” 

“Not yet.” TJ shakes his head with his gaze pointed at the ground as he walks, “It was late last night... I’ll ask tonight though.”

“Cool.” Cyrus nods and he tries to build the courage to bring up what he really wanted to talk about. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” TJ agrees unsuspectingly.

“Why is it you don’t like Christmas?” Cyrus finally questions.

“Like I said at lunch-“

“I heard what you said at lunch and at dinner with my family,” Cyrus looks to TJ as they walk before having to look forward again, “But I want to know the real reason.”

TJ rolls his eyes, “You know you can be so ann-“

“Annoying, judgey, yeah I know.” Cyrus says, “You also said I was the only person you could talk to like this.”

“You open up to someone once or twice and then they get all pushy about it.” TJ says with a huff. “I just don’t like Christmas okay? Most of my memories surrounding Christmas are bad and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Maybe it would make you feel better?” Cyrus insists, “Maybe I could help?” 

“What do you want me to do, cry about my family issues?” TJ snips. 

“I didn’t know you had problems at home.” Cyrus frowns. “I never go to your house.” 

“Yeah and there’s a reason for that.” TJ continues to be brash, “ _Poor TJ has family issues._ ” He snaps, “You’d make something out of nothing.” 

“This doesn’t feel like nothing.” Cyrus stops walking and he forces TJ to as well. 

“It must be exhausting trying to fix everyone all the time.” TJ shakes his head with a sigh. 

“TJ that’s not what I’m-” Cyrus drops his sentence with a frown.

“I don’t want to walk home together anymore.” TJ states with a frustrated breath. 

“TJ, I’m sorry.” Cyrus says almost desperately. 

“Forget it.” TJ shakes his head before leaving Cyrus there alone.

Although Cyrus wanted to, he knew there was no use chasing after TJ, instead he remains in place and watches as TJ disappears down the street. 

-

The following day after school Cyrus is at the busy mall in town donating his time to wrap presents, the proceeds from the stall go towards Christmas gifts for children from families in need. Ever since Cyrus was old enough to understand the concept of paying it forward, he had made an effort to give back. It was something Cyrus tries to do all the time but come the holiday season, he makes a conscious effort to do at least one good thing that gives back to the community. This is a ritual of sorts that he shares with his father.

Cyrus had been at the stall for an hour now and whilst he wrapped he also vented to the lady in charge about how TJ had been avoiding him all day. “I just wish he’d speak to me,” Cyrus exhales heavily and then as if he had wished it into existence, Cyrus spots TJ coming out of a small store not too far from the booth he is at. Cyrus asks the lady for permission to take a five minute break and after listening to him go on for an hour she welcomed the idea of a quiet five minutes.

Cyrus quickly make his way over to the store and TJ looks surprised and a little uncomfortable when he notices Cyrus. “What are you doing here?” TJ asks.

“I’m not stalking you even though it may look like I am,” Cyrus laughs nervously, “I’m over at the gift wrapping stall.”

“Right.” TJ still comes across as distant.

“You avoided me at school today and haven’t been answering any of my texts since we had a, _fight?_ ” Cyrus poses it like a question because he wasn’t really sure what that exchange of words yesterday afternoon was.

“Being ignored kind of sucks, doesn’t it?” TJ scoffs.

A frown falls on Cyrus’ face as he knew TJ was referring to the all too troubling gun incident. “I wanted to talk to you.” Cyrus is firm. “I went to text you a dozen times but Andi and Buffy wouldn’t let me.”

“I was worried you were just as happy to avoid me.” TJ goes a little mumbly.

“You noticed the part where they physically stopped me from going over to you, right?” Cyrus lets out a single laugh.

TJ breaks his annoyed look with a hint of a smile although he squashes it quickly. 

“Newsflash, TJ, I like you-“ Cyrus frets at his choice of words, “You’re my friend… And I just wanted to know if something was wrong. I can be pushy and I was yesterday so I am sorry for prying.”

“Is that is?” TJ asks and Cyrus’ pained expression deepens, he didn’t know what else to be sorry for.

“Maybe I do have a habit of trying to fix things and I can definitely be pushy so I genuinely apologise for that. I hope you know I’d _never_ want to force you to talk about something you didn’t want to but I can’t apologise for wanting to help. I don’t see people - _you_ \- as broken or needing improvement, I just don’t like seeing people I care about upset. So I can’t say sorry for that because I don’t think that’s a bad quality to have.”

TJ’s annoyed look is now completely foiled by a soft smile even despite his best efforts to squash it again. “I don’t think it’s a bad quality either.”

A smiley moment passes by before Cyrus breaks sheepishly, “So, what brings you to the mall on a Tuesday afternoon?”

“It’s the twins birthday tomorrow. I had to pick something up for them for my mom.”

“Wow, their birthday is so close to the holidays, that must be an expensive time of year for your family.” Cyrus says and immediately his face falls with a worried expression, “That wasn’t me prying I swear.”

“It’s okay.” TJ says. “It is an expensive time of year.”

“You don’t have to..” Cyrus shakes his head as he didn’t mean to seem like he wanted an explanation from TJ. 

“I’m not going to.” TJ says, “It was the worst Christmas ever and I don’t really feel like reliving that right now.” 

“I respect that.” Cyrus nods. “I’m really sorry for whatever it is and I am here to talk if and whenever you want.” 

“Thanks.” TJ nods slightly with a weak smile. 

“Even though I’m respecting your boundaries can I still say something to try and ‘fix’ it?” Cyrus uses air quotes and this makes TJ smile. 

“You can try.” TJ shrugs.

“If you’ve already had the worst Christmas ever, that means every Christmas is potentially the best one yet.” Cyrus smiles, “It would be a shame to miss out on that because you don’t give the holidays a chance.” 

TJ coaxes his head with furrowed brows and looks like he’s absorbing what Cyrus said. 

“Too fortune cookie sounding?” Cyrus questions. 

“A little.” TJ straightens his head with a nod and shares a soft chuckle.

“I can do better.” Cyrus assures, “Let me try again.”

“You don’t even celebrate Christmas,” TJ highlights, “Why does it matter to you if I want to hate it?” 

Cyrus is quiet for a moment, he’s deep in thought about a past memory and was a little unsure if he should share it or not. Ultimately Cyrus decides to open up and continues, “When I was about six years old I went to the beach with my mom and I was playing in the shallow bit of the water but a wave coming in made me loose my balance and I nearly downed.” Cyrus explains, “It was awful, the most horrible moment in my life and I hated the beach after that, I thought it was the worst place in the entire world.” 

“That’s terrible.” TJ says genuinely, “..But I’m not sure what that has to do with me and Christmas?” His tone is careful not to suggest Cyrus’ worst memory ever was anything less than that.

“My parents took me back to the beach one day even though I begged them not to,” Cyrus continues. “But what my parents did was show me that it wasn’t the beach I hated, it was that one awful memory of it.” 

“You think sipping eggnog by the fire is going to make me feel better about my dad leaving?” TJ asks and he wasn’t snippy or huffy like he was the previous afternoon, he looked more defeated. 

Cyrus tries not to react too much to the information TJ shared, nor does he try to push for more. If TJ wanted to open up about it he would. Instead Cyrus wears a soft and small smile, “No but maybe it will make you happier for the ones who stayed.” 

After a quiet moment passes between the two TJ lets out a heavy sigh, “Dammit.” He says softly under his breath. 

“What?” Cyrus questions. 

“That made me feel better.” TJ mumbles and Cyrus smiles proudly. 

“Sorry for being a jerk.” TJ says sheepishly. 

“I wasn’t completely undeserving.” Cyrus shrugs, “...I should probably get back to the gift stall.. Want to wrap presents with me?” 

“Is it a paid job?” TJ questions. 

“It’s for charity.” Cyrus explains. 

“Oh.” TJ says, “Sure, I’ll help but I’m lousy at gift wrapping.” 

TJ’s statement about his wrapping skills proved to be true as Cyrus looks at TJ’s poor handiwork. 

“Maybe you should stick to rapping apologies instead of presents.” Cyrus grimaces and TJ nudges him playfully with his elbow. 

Then TJ moves on to bow duty instead and even though TJ wasn’t exactly able to open up to Cyrus about his home life, somehow the two still felt closer than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far! Sorry this chapter is a little shorter! I’m hoping the next one is a tad longer.
> 
> Also, I forgot to add in the end notes after chapter one that I’d be reminding everyone what prompts from the 12 days I’ve included incase you missed it (some will be more subtle than others) chapter one was of course day ones prompt: Hanukkah.
> 
> In this Chapter:   
> ✓ Christmas with the Kippen’s (day 2’s prompt)  
> ✓ The worst Hanukkah/Christmas ever (day 11’s prompt)
> 
> Although these were only lightly touched on and are further explored in chapter 3.


	3. Operation Deck The Halls

It’s the day after Cyrus and TJ met at the mall and once his last class for the day is over, Cyrus makes his way towards his locker and a smile creeps wider on his face when he spies TJ leaning against it.

“Hey you.” Cyrus says as he approaches.

“Hey.” TJ is also smiley in response.

“Is there something I can do for you?” Cyrus asks as he reaches around TJ to get to his lock.

TJ rolls onto his side, giving Cyrus access to the locker. With arms folded and a shoulder now pressed against the locker beside Cyrus’, TJ asks, “If I ask for your help with something do you promise not to get all Cyrus-y?”

“Using my name as a verb kinda sounds like an insult...” Cyrus’ expression drops to mild confusion mixed with a slight frown.

“It’s not.” TJ says genuinely, “But still?” TJ remains in place and looks to Cyrus as he waits for a serious answer. 

“I’m happy to help you with anything.” Cyrus is sincere, “But I can’t guarantee my reaction isn’t going to be Cyrus-y because I am Cyrus and by definition everything I do is Cyrus-y.”

TJ cracks a smile at this and gives an understanding nod. Cyrus hangs his book bag over his shoulder and the two begin to walk.

“So I listened to what you said yesterday about Christmas and I’ve decided-“

“Yes?” Cyrus’ grin is toothy as he anticipates the rest of that sentence.

TJ rolls his eyes even though his smile suggests he’s somewhat amused. “I’ve decided to give Christmas a chance this year.” Cyrus’ smile is in full force at this mention and TJ rolls his eyes again at Cyrus for reacting exactly how he imagined. “For the twins.” TJ adds firmly.

“Of course, for the twins.” Cyrus nods casually although he was struggling to contain his excitement. “Anything particular you had in mind?” 

“Not really.” TJ shakes his head, “That’s why I want your help.” 

“You want my help?” Cyrus asks surprised, “You remember I’m Jewish, right?” 

“I do but I also remember you’re Cyrus and you’ve always helped me, even when I don’t deserve it.” TJ says. “I don’t want to put you in a position that makes you uncomfortable, I don’t really know what you do when it comes to Christmas so I hope I’m not being disrespectful... I’m not asking you to write letters to Santa or anything like that, maybe just make sure I don’t Grinch out?” TJ asks sheepishly, “You understand that reference right?”

“Yes I understand.” Cyrus shakes his head at the silly question. “And I’m happy to assist.” 

“Thanks.” TJ is a little mumbly.

“Since you’re embracing Christmas does this mean you’ll come to Andi’s party?” Cyrus asks hopefully.

“I don’t know.” TJ shrugs a shoulder, “I can tell Andi didn’t really want me to be there anyway.”

“But I want you there.” Cyrus says so simply like it wasn’t a big deal but it was, so much so that TJ stopped walking for a second because the kind sentiment took him by surprise.

“Then I’ll be there.” TJ says quietly once he’s back in stride with Cyrus.

Once out front of school TJ spots his mother in a parking space close by.

“I have to get going,” TJ announces, “It’s the twins birthday. Mom is taking us ice skating..” TJ doesn’t appear to be thrilled by the idea.

“Sounds dangerous,” Cyrus laughs.

“Want to come?” TJ asks.

“I would love to but I can’t.” Cyrus declines regretfully, “I fell behind with my homework during Hanukkah.”

“Kind of unfair that we get a break for Christmas but you don’t for Hanukkah.”

Cyrus shrugs lightly. “This weekend we can work on the whole embracing Christmas idea?”

“I have to look after the twins.” TJ says.

“Even better.” Cyrus beams. “Count them in too.”

-

On Saturday morning Cyrus gets dropped at the mall by his mother and he waits out by the big water fountain for TJ to arrive.

Cyrus is forcing heavy breaths and he watches it be visible in the cold air. His frosty exhale dissipates when his phone rings. A goofy snap of Jonah comes up as the caller I.D. and Cyrus answers with a smile almost present in his tone, “Helloooo.”

“Hey,” Jonah greets him back, “Are you busy today? Did you wanna hang out?”

“I can’t, I’m hanging with TJ.” Cyrus says apologetically.

“You’re always hanging out with TJ.” Jonah huffs.

“Do I detect a little jealousy?” Cyrus jokes with a laugh.

“Yes. You’re supposed to be my best friend.” Jonah says seriously, “I miss you.” Jonah says in a more joking manner although he meant it.

Cyrus smiles to himself. A year ago, such a statement from Jonah would have made Cyrus pass out but now he felt completely at ease.

“I promised TJ I’d help him with some Christmas stuff this weekend-“

“TJ the Grinch?” Jonah questions.

“Stop.” Cyrus scolds.

“I’m not being mean, he said so himself, he doesn’t like Christmas.” Jonah defends.

“Well he’s changed his mind.” Cyrus says. “I’m helping him embrace the holidays.”

“Who better to help than his best Jewish pal.” Jonah chuckles and Cyrus can’t help but laugh too.

“I think he’s come to the right person.” Cyrus says. “I’ve made a list of things for him,” then Cyrus’ expression curls into a proud one as he says, “And I’ve checked it twice.” Cyrus pauses for a reaction but is met with silence on the other end of the line, “Because of Santa?” Cyrus is disappointed his joke was wasted. “How is it that I’m the one who doesn’t celebrate Christmas?”

Jonah chuckles at this although it wasn’t meant to be funny. “I understood the joke I just didn’t think it was funny.” Jonah jokes. 

“Rude.” Cyrus huffs. 

Jonah shares another soft chuckle, “I’m going to call Gus and see if he’s free, have fun with TJ.”

Just as Cyrus ends his call with Jonah he spots TJ approaching with his twin siblings on either side of him. Katie’s sweet blonde curls are pinned back in pigtails on either side of her head with tiny little festive bows to decorate them. A red coat is wrapped around her petite frame for warmth with white stockings covering her short legs that poke out underneath. Her delicate hand locked tightly in her older brothers grip as he leads the way. Her free hand sending Cyrus an eager wave and melting his heart in the process. Cooper, the shyer twin is dressed just as savvy as his sister with a festive coloured tartan shirt poking out from underneath a knitted sweater and his hair is combed neatly to one side.

“Hello.” Cyrus greets them all with a smile.

“You two remember Cyrus?” TJ asks and both the youngsters nod. 

“From the park.” Katie grins as she recalls the time Cyrus had spent the afternoon out and about with them a little while back. 

“You two look very festive.” Cyrus says. 

“I got the text you sent at 2am this morning.” TJ scoffs. 

“I was beginning to wonder.” Cyrus folds his arms as he eyes TJ’s outfit. 

“Hey.” TJ’s face curls into something of offence, “You said dress ‘Christmassy’ this sweatshirt is green.” 

“Khaki doesn’t count.” Cyrus is less than impressed. 

TJ sighs in response. 

“It doesn’t matter, I can fix it.” Cyrus says surely. “Let Operation Deck The Halls begin.” Cyrus nods excitedly and Katie shares this with a bounce on her toes. 

“We’re back to mission names like with the whole Buffy ambush thing again?” TJ pouts. 

“Absolutely, we have new codenames and everything,” Cyrus is very dramatic, “Katie you are Rudolph and Cooper you’re Frosty the Snowman.” 

Katie is more outwardly excited about her codename than Cooper is although he shows his approval with a sheepish smile. 

“Who am I, the Grinch?” TJ folds his arms. 

“ _Nooo._ ” Cyrus says childishly, “You’re Scrooge.” 

“Cause that’s so much better?” TJ fake gasps. 

“I’m hoping for a similar outcome to A Christmas Carol.” Cyrus says in a almost challenging way. 

“What’s your codename, Cyrus?” Katie leans in with a whisper as her six year old brain was taking the mission _very_ seriously. 

“Judah the Maccabee.” Cyrus grins proudly but when he’s met with three confused Kippen’s, he frowns, “He led the Maccabean Revolt against the Selecid Empire?” Cyrus looks at TJ like  _‘as if you don’t know’_ , “He’s like- the reason we have Hanukkah.” Cyrus simplifies it more once TJ still seemed confused. 

“Okay, _Judah the Maccabee_ ,” TJ says with a smile, “What’s first?” 

“I have a list.” Cyrus says pulling a piece of paper out of his coat pocket. “And I checked it twice.” Both Katie and Cooper react to Cyrus’ joke making him happier than Jonah’s light teasing. “First we have to get you something else to wear, then you three will take Santa photos and after that we will go back to my house where my mom will have preprepared cookies for us to decorated and then-” Cyrus stops after he grows nervous under TJ’s fond stare, “This is what you meant when you said Cyrus-y, isn’t it?” Cyrus wears a self aware look. 

TJ’s smile just remains unwavering before he points it towards his siblings, “So you guys wanna get Santa photos?” 

The twins excitedly agree and Operation Deck The Halls begins. First Cyrus drags the Kippen’s into a store where TJ is then forced to model ugly Christmas sweaters. At first the basketballer is sulky about this and acts all embarrassed but eventually he warms up to it and is goofy as he shows off the cliche jumpers for Cyrus and his siblings. 

Eventually they all agree on a winner and they make their way to the picture with Santa stall where they have to wait in line for a ridiculous amount of time. Cyrus spends some of this time reflecting on the day so far, how TJ pretends to be annoyed at something but Cyrus knew he was actually enjoying himself. Cyrus also reflects on the whole concept of Santa and quietly laughs to himself as he imagined how petrified he would have been thinking a stranger would come down the chimney to eat cookies and drop off presents. Then he thinks how dramatic he would have been when he learnt Santa wasn’t real, like he had been lied to and would have made a huge deal out of it. Cyrus is thankful he skipped all that. Cyrus’ most dramatic moment from a past Hanukkah was when he burnt himself trying to light the menorah. There’s still a faint scar on his wrist. 

As the group got closer to their turn for the photos, TJ would keep expressing his disinterest to take a photo and how embarrassing it was. Cyrus keeps insisting that it’s imperative to the mission that all three Kippen’s pose for the photo. 

“Think of how much your mom will love the photo.” Cyrus reasons with him and when it comes to their turn, a sulky TJ stands by for the photo. The elf behind the camera calls him out for being grumpy and Cyrus stifles a chuckle. As the twins cheese for the photo and the elf counts down from 3, Cyrus pulls a goofy face that causes TJ to smile, a genuine grin that was captured on film forever. 

After spending half the day at the mall, Cyrus brings the Kippen kids home with him where they go on to decorate cookies. Whist the three Kippen’s were destroying their Christmas designs, Cyrus was even messier with the personalised cookies he was trying to make for Andi, Buffy and Jonah. 

When TJ’s mother Tess comes along to collect her children, the twins are exhausted but excited to show their mother everything they accomplished today. Tess briefly chats with Leslie and thanks her for letting the twins hang around for the afternoon. Before leaving, Tess invites Cyrus to come along with them tomorrow as they go shopping for a tree. Cyrus is uncertain but Leslie encourages him to accept. 

After the Kippen’s leave, Leslie asks Cyrus what was troubling him. “Did you not want to go with them tomorrow?” Leslie questions. 

“I don’t know.” Cyrus says honestly. “I’ve always been very proud to be Jewish. It feels a little strange being this close to Christmas. Today I was just helping TJ, hanging out really while they did the Christmassy stuff but tomorrow feels more involved.” 

“Honey, going to look at trees doesn’t make you a bad Jew.” Leslie can’t help but smile a little as she wraps her wraps her arms around her son and rubs his shoulder, “This kind of thing has never bothered you before in the past with the girls?” 

“I know but with Andi and Buffy it’s like I’m used to existing alongside their Christmas spirit. I don’t even really notice it. Like Andi having a Christmas party, I didn’t even think that was strange for me when I said I was excited for it.” 

Leslie takes a moment and appears to be carefully trying to craft her words, “TJ was very respectful at dinner last weekend, I don't see the harm in you being the same for him as long as you’re comfortable with it.” 

“I think I am comfortable and that’s why I feel guilty.” Cyrus admits. 

Leslie gives him a sympathetic smile, “Plenty of people celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah. Take Jared for example, he celebrates Hanukkah but he also shares Christmas with Allison because that’s important to her. If you want to share this with TJ you shouldn’t feel guilty for that.”

The comparison to his stepbrother and his girlfriend made Cyrus nervous. “We’re just going to pick out a tree, not get married.” Cyrus forces a laugh and it comes out riddled with nerves. Leslie sports a kind smile and Cyrus knew in his heart that his mother already knew exactly how he felt for TJ but for some reason he still couldn't bring himself to speak to her about it.  

“I dated a boy back in high school before your father, he was a Christian and absolutely obsessed with Christmas.” Leslie says with a funny smile as she looks back on the memory, “Weirdest holidays of my life. His house was full of creepy little Santa dolls, I felt like their eyes were following me.” 

“Right?” Cyrus laughs as he thinks back to his reflection session at the photo stall earlier, “If Christmas does end up being a part of my life for one reason or another later on, I’m seriously going to have to discuss the whole Saint Nicholas thing...” 

Cyrus and his mother share another laugh, suddenly he was feeling better about everything. Reconnecting with his Christmas spirit was important to TJ therefore it was important to Cyrus, it was as simple as that.

- 

The following day Cyrus tags along with the Kippen’s as they pick out a tree. Cyrus is surprised to discover they purposely look for the ugliest one available but he quickly warms the idea of a quirky tree. He thinks how much Bex would love doing something like that. 

Once the tree is picked out, Tess invites Cyrus to join them for decorating and dinner. Cyrus nervously looks to TJ before answering, their whole fight over prying into TJ’s home life was still fresh and Cyrus didn’t want to do anything that could potentially drive a wedge between them but TJ nods with a smile to show he’s okay with the idea. 

Cyrus goes over to TJ’s house for the first time and he spends the evening getting to know more about TJ. As the Kippen’s decorate their rather sad looking tree, Cyrus feels more comfortable sitting back and watching. Cyrus found it nice watching how happy they all were, he notices Tess keeps stealing proud glances as she watches TJ happily help the twins decorate. Cyrus wonders how deep his distaste towards Christmas was at home before he agreed to try and embrace it again. 

Then when they sat at the table for dinner, Cyrus would also admire the vibe in the room, it was evident that TJ adored his siblings but he also appeared to love and respect his mother deeply. It wasn’t even new information Cyrus was learning about TJ but somehow he felt like there was this whole new layer to him he hadn’t seen before. 

After the dishes are washed up, Cyrus and TJ find a moment alone in front of the small fireplace. 

“Thanks for being Cyrus-y this weekend. It was exactly what I needed.” TJ says with a smile, “I forgot how much I enjoyed Christmas when I was younger.” 

“You’re welcome.” Cyrus grins too, “Thanks for letting me tag along today. I never really thought about anyone showing me Christmas the way I show them Hanukkah.. It was a new experience for me.”

“I’m sure there would have been better people to show you.” TJ says. 

Cyrus shakes his head, “It was perfect. I know technically it’s not Christmassy but dinner was my favourite part.” 

“It was nothing special.” TJ shrugs and Cyrus frowns that he was being so negative or more so that he actually felt that way about it all. 

“I really like your family.” Cyrus smiles as he tries to shine a light on it, “Coop is so quiet I get so excited when he warms up to me and Katie makes me wish I had a little sister.” 

TJ points a small smile towards his lap, “It’s a bit of a contrast to your family dinner.” 

“Dinner’s not like that every night in my house.” Cyrus says. 

“It’s still nice.” TJ lifts his gaze with a weak smile, “Your parents getting along like that.”

“I know I’m pretty lucky.” Cyrus’ smile is small, “And I know I say this without knowing the full story but I’d feel pretty lucky if I were you too, you have a mom that loves you and a brother and sister that adore you.” 

“And a dad that thinks we’re all too much.” TJ says bitterly. “Sorry.” He quickly adds with a mumble. 

“You can talk to me about it, if you want?” Cyrus studies TJ’s face to make sure he wasn't forcing him to open up if he wasn’t comfortable. 

“I want to.” TJ says sheepishly, Cyrus wears a soft and comforting smile but remains quiet so TJ can continue, “It was four years ago, about a month before Christmas, the twins had just turned two and my dad had been fired from his job, he was drinking more than usual and fighting with my mom _a lot_. I was ten so I wasn’t oblivious the the fact that things were tense between my parents and money was tight. I wasn’t expecting much for Christmas but I still wanted to give something to my parents so I made this dumb popsicle stick picture frame at school and I put a photo of our family in it. I was so excited about the gift, I wrapped it and put it under the tree. On Christmas morning I ran downstairs because I wanted to give it to them and that’s where I found my dad passed out. He had stumbled and knocked over the tree, wrecking the whole thing, breaking my gift and the few my mom had bought for us... My mom came down and found him like that, they got in a huge fight, the biggest I had ever heard them have and then my dad left and he never came back...” 

“TJ, I’m so sorry.” Cyrus’ heart aches for his friend. 

TJ shrugs, “The worst part is that I spent the first couple of Christmases secretly wishing he'd come home ready to fix everything. Then about a year and a half ago I found out that my dad did clean up his act but it was for another woman and her three kids..” TJ lowers his gaze to his hands and he fidgets nervously, “So while he tucks in those kids at night, I have a brother and sister who don’t even know who he is and a lasting memory of him walking  out the door after telling me  _‘you’re all too much’_...” 

 _It got worse._ Cyrus was as a loss for words, no wonder TJ was so frustrated about the holidays and this possibly could have spoken for some of his behavioural issues the previous year then they first met. Cyrus searches his brain frantically for something comforting to say, anything to make the sad smile on TJ’s face dissipate but all he could think to say was, “I’ve only spent half a day with your family and I couldn’t imagine ever not wanting to be apart of it.” 

TJ’s smile curls into one more genuine, “I guess I am pretty lucky too.” 


	4. Winter Break

It’s been a week since Operation Deck The Halls began and since tree picking with the Kippen’s, Cyrus has stepped back and taken a more silent role with TJ’s festivities. TJ might have needed a little push to begin with but now Cyrus was happy standing on the sidelines and watching TJ embrace Christmas with his family on his own.

Now on the last school day of the calendar year, students pile out of Jefferson Middle School after final bell. Cyrus is joined by TJ and Buffy as they say goodbye to school work for the next two weeks and hello to winter break.

“It’s so cold.” Buffy clings to Cyrus’ arm for warmth as they walk. First snowfall for the season was only a few days ago but Shadyside was already blanketed in a thick layer of snow.

“I’m glad we convinced Andi that a snow party wasn’t a good idea.” Cyrus chuckles. 

“Snowball fights and snow angels are nice in theory but hot cocoa by the fireplace is _so_ much better in practice.” Buffy laughs softly. 

“I’m sure there will be plenty of time for us to get frostbite whilst we’re out skiing anyway.” TJ adds. 

“You're coming?” Cyrus turns to him with excitement. 

“Yep.” TJ pops the P, “Mom gave me the O.K. this morning.” 

“Same with Jonah’s parents.” Cyrus beams, “Yay, that means we’re all going.” 

“Ready to get your butt kicked at skiing?” Buffy’s entertainment spikes. 

“I don’t think it’s a competition.” Cyrus knits his brows. 

“Everything is a competition if you try.” Buffy scoffs. 

“It is with her at least.” TJ rolls his eyes. 

“Count me out.” Cyrus holds his palms up defensively, “I’m just trying to get through this ski trip with minimal injury.” 

“You’ll do great. Don’t worry.” TJ is encouraging. 

“Past performance proves otherwise...” Cyrus’ frown intensifies.

“You've never had me there before.” TJ smiles. “I’ll help you.” 

“He’s just trying to avoid losing.” Buffy tugs as Cyrus’ arm and pulls herself closer to him. 

“Or he’s being a good friend?” Cyrus says sweetly. 

“Doesn’t sound like the Kippen I know.” Buffy quips.

TJ looks at Buffy cuddling into Cyrus almost territorially and scrunches his facial expression, “Sometimes I miss the good old days when you’d ignored me.”

“Did you hear something?” Buffy looks to Cyrus and pokes her ear with her index finger. 

“Suddenly I’m not feeling so bad about missing out on the car ride to the lodge with you guys.” Cyrus laughs nervously at their banter.

“Tell Jared I call shotgun already.” Buffy says quickly after thinking about being pinned in the backseat with TJ or Andi and Jonah with all their drama. 

Cyrus is quietly thankful he gets to skip all that too and he makes a mental note to get something for Jared to say thank you because driving all Cyrus’ friends meant he wasn’t bringing any of his own this year due to the lack of free seats in his car. 

“I better get going, I still have to wrap Jonah’s present for the Secret Santa thing.” Cyrus shakes his head. 

“Cyrus, it’s supposed to be a secret.” Buffy gently nudges him. 

“I didn’t tell you what I got him.” Cyrus defends himself. 

“I never thought I’d say this but I’m actually excited for the party.” TJ admits. “I wasn’t too keen on the idea of Andi’s handmade gifts only rule but I worked around it.” 

Cyrus pricks up a brow, “Who’d you get?” 

“ _Secret_ Santa.” Buffy stresses again.

“Here’s a secret, Santa isn’t real.” Cyrus teases in a childish manner and Buffy hangs her mouth agape. 

“Someone is a bit frosty this afternoon.” Buffy glares. “And I thought winter was your favourite season?” 

Cyrus laughs it off as he frees himself from Buffy's grip. “My dad’s here, I’ll see you two later at the party.”

-

Later at Andi’s party, Cyrus has Jonah’s homemade gift in hand as he knocks on the front door of the the Mack/Quinn residence. Bex answers it and greets Cyrus warmly, a second later a happy Andi comes bouncing out and tackles Cyrus with a hug. 

“The party sure has put you in a good mood.” Cyrus laughs, “Not that I’m complaining, I love hugs.” Cyrus gives her an extra squeeze. The two part and Bex wears an ebarrassing grin. 

“What?” Andi questions and Bex points above their heads. Both Andi and Cyrus look up and find a mistletoe hung above them. 

“Ew.” The pair both express their disgust in unison. 

“It’s bad luck not to.” Bex is disappointed. “Christmas will be cursed... Or something?” Bex coaxes her head in confusion.

“Good thing I don’t celebrate Christmas.” Cyrus laughs. 

“I don’t want a cursed Christmas!” Andi says quickly. 

“Fine.” Cyrus sighs and he cups her cheeks in either hand and Andi is surprised as she was only kidding and was certainly not expecting him to kiss her. Cyrus quickly goes in and exaggerates the ‘mwah’ as he smooches her nose. “There, the Christmas spirits are appeased.”

“That’s the spirit, Cyrus!” Bex is amused and Andi giggles out of surprise as she wipes her nose. 

Once inside their home, it appears that Cyrus was the last one to arrive as it wasn’t a _party_ party, more a festive gathering between the group of friends. 

Cyrus spies TJ across the room chatting pleasantly with Jonah and he couldn't help but feel happy that the two were getting along better. A few feet away from the boys is Amber and Libby, Amber looks to be getting a lesson in the ASL alphabet by Libby whilst seperate to the two pairings is Walker and Buffy awkwardly interacting with each other. _This is going to be an interesting night,_ Cyrus thought to himself, but at least he’d have TJ to cling onto whilst everyone else has their romantic drama all crammed in the same _very small_ room.

Apart from the Secret Santa game Andi forced on everyone and the faint carols playing in the background, it wasn’t much of a Christmas themed party at all. The group played a few games in the living space together. Many of which involved pairs. The teams were the same each game, Buffy and Walker, Jonah and Libby, Amber and Andi and TJ and Cyrus. The matches tended to shine a spotlight on who worked well together and who didn’t. Whilst the two girls and two boys were on fire, Walker and Buffy as well as Jonah and Libby seemed to be struggling to communicate properly. 

Still gathered in the living room, Andi serves up fancy hot cocoa for everyone and she then kicks off the gift exchange. She picks up a present from the pile and hands it to the person on the label. That person then has to try and guess who made their present after opening. The gift exchanged lightened the mood in the room after things got a little tense during the games. Everyone is laughing and having a good time as they all try to work out who the handmade gifts were from. Naturally there were a few comical and farfetched guesses amongst them. 

“This one is for you, Cyrus.” Andi’s brows crinkle as she hands the present over to him. 

“TJ.” Cyrus says with a confident and amused smile before he even has the present in hand. 

“Am I that obvious?” TJ chuckles. 

“How did you know without even opening it?” Andi questions with a scrunched face.

“Did you two cheat?” Buffy accuses. 

“No, never.” Cyrus says with a laugh as he holds up the poorly wrapped gift, “I’d know these lousy wrapping skills anywhere.” 

“Rude.” TJ’s attempt to look offended is foiled by his smile.

Cyrus opens the gift and is more than happy with its contents. “Five free muffin vouchers.” 

“I know sometimes you have difficulty getting your own so I’m willing to get them for you.” TJ chuckles. 

“Wow, I can’t believe TJ Kippen is going to arrive at school early on five different occasions to wait in line and to get me muffins.” Cyrus says in a purposely goofy way. 

“No one said anything about getting to school early, or waiting in line.” TJ points a finger. 

“Amazing. That’s so thoughtful of you.” Cyrus ignores TJ and smiles wider thus causing a few chuckles in the room, mainly from Buffy and Andi as they were the closest to Cyrus’ muffin escapes. 

After the Secret Santa is over, everyone breaks off into groups or pairings to have their own conversations. Cyrus takes the opportunity to go into the bag he came with and retrieve an extra present he had brought along. Cyrus hides the gift behind his back and scans the room for TJ. Cyrus’ gaze falls upon the boy just as he notices TJ slip out the front door. Cyrus quickly follows. 

“Going somewhere?” Cyrus questions and the front door clicks shut behind him. 

“I just wanted some fresh air.” TJ says with a smile, “It was really warm in there.” 

“Tell me about it.” Cyrus agrees as he had felt quite flushed with the heat turned on so high and he was even more flustered now standing out on the welcome mat because Cyrus knew directly above them was a mistletoe. Cyrus makes a conscious effort not to look up, not even slightly as he didn’t want to draw attention to it and make things weird. 

“So I’ve been pretending like I haven't noticed you hiding something behind your back this whole time. What is it?” TJ questions. 

The reminder of the gift is enough to distract Cyrus from his mistletoe nerves and he excitedly reveals the small wrapped present, “I wasn’t your Secret Santa but I still wanted to get you something.” 

“You really didn’t have to do that.” TJ furrows his brows. “I only got you the one gift-”

“Just open it.” Cyrus insists as he passes the present.

TJ gives in and carefully unwraps the gift. Surprise washes over his expression, not utter shock but TJ was completely unsuspecting of its contents. TJ holds up the object, “You made this?” 

“I heard popsicle stick frames were all the rage.” Cyrus cutely shrugs his shoulder. 

TJ grips the handmade popsicle stick frame photo in his hand and looks at it like it was the most precious gift he’s ever received. “Did you take this photo?” TJ peels his gaze away from the sweet gift to look at Cyrus. 

Cyrus nods, “I thought it was a moment worth capturing.” 

TJ looks back to the photo with a smile. It’s a picture Cyrus snapped whilst TJ, Tess and the twins decorated the tree. It was such a joy filled moment that Cyrus couldn’t help himself, then after learning about TJ’s heartbreak over his family being broken he wanted to do something to remind TJ that wasn’t the case at all. 

“I don’t even mind if you regift it to your mom.” Cyrus says with a goofy smile. 

Cyrus wasn’t really joking when he said that but he was being funny, although TJ doesn’t react to him. Instead he continues to look at the frame like it was a precious gem. Cyrus noticed that TJ was in awe over the gift and with him being so touched by it, it touched Cyrus in return but then Cyrus notices a second wave of emotion wash over TJ. “TJ are you-”

“Wow.” TJ clears his throat and he uses the back of his free hand to wipe the corner of his eye. “What a loser, I’m getting emotional over a popsicle stick frame. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologise for being emotional,” Cyrus frowns, “Especially not to me.” 

TJ sniffles again but a soft smile crosses his face, “Thank you.” 

Cyrus’ smile creeps wider at that response and the two share a soft smiley moment. Cyrus couldn’t help it, his gaze wandered up and he brought attention to the item hanging above their head. Cyrus tries to laugh it off casually but TJ’s stare lingers on the mistletoe for a while before he looks at Cyrus with a hard to read expression. Cyrus goes to say something but the words didn’t come out, instead he silently found himself wishing that TJ would kiss him. Then, Cyrus wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not but he thought TJ might have been thinking about the same thing. Then without warning, TJ closes the space between them, his lips crashing against Cyrus’.

At first Cyrus is completely shocked, a stiff by stander, his eyes are opened and confused but then he naturally adapts. His eyes close, his lips loosen and he falls into the kiss but just as Cyrus let himself enjoy it, TJ pulls away quickly.

“I shouldn't have done that. I’m sorry.” TJ is panicked. 

Cyrus is at a loss for words, part of him was still unsure if he had imagined it all or not.  

“I have to go.” TJ says with a worried expression.

“Don’t.” Cyrus forces the word out but TJ was already fleeing before Cyrus could actually stop him. Cyrus is left speechless standing under the mistletoe with his finger pressed to his lips. _What just happened?_


	5. The Cold Shoulder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some easter eggs in here for my gmw fans! Enjoy :)

It’s the 26th of December and Cyrus is at the Mount Sun ski lodge. It has been four days since Cyrus last spoke to TJ, it has been four days since TJ kissed Cyrus and then left him out on Andi’s front porch with a million questions.

Cyrus didn’t get any answers in the days leading up to leaving for the ski trip either. TJ had completely ghosted Cyrus and ignored any of the younger boys attempts to reach out. The only text Cyrus got back from TJ was a simple, ‘thanks’ when Cyrus messaged to say he wasn’t going to tell anyone about the kiss. 

There was no way Cyrus could discuss this with either Andi or Buffy —no matter how desperately he wanted to— because this wasn’t just about his own feelings, it was about TJ’s. And although Cyrus wanted to consider TJ’s feelings, not talking about the situation was driving Cyrus insane.

At one point Cyrus considered talking to his mother about the kiss. Cyrus figured talking to his mother didn’t count as a betrayal of trust because it’s his mom but deep down he knew TJ wouldn’t like to be discussed like that, so Cyrus keeps it all bottled inside. 

Since Cyrus couldn’t talk to anybody about it, all he could do was obsess over it quietly. It didn’t really help that Cyrus didn’t know what _it_ was. Why did TJ kiss him? Was it because he was sad and emotional about his father? Was it because he felt grateful for the thoughtful gift? Was it a joke? Could it simply be because they were standing under a mistletoe and it really wasn’t a big deal at all? Or could it possibly _impossibly_ be that he had the same kind of feelings for Cyrus that Cyrus has for TJ?

After days of radio silence from TJ, Cyrus left for the lodge. From previous trips there with his parents, Cyrus knew that the cell service was non-existent and he’d have minimal contact with his friends until they arrived. With this in mind, Cyrus decided to leave one final voicemail for TJ, “Hey TJ, it’s Cyrus.. Again.. I’m leaving for the ski lodge now, I just wanted to say I hope you still come.. I was looking forward to it but I’ll understand if you don’t want to.. Just know if you do come, I promise I won’t harass you to talk. You can do that when you’re ready- Or never, you know whatever you want. Okay.. well, bye…” Cyrus rambled before ending the call with a frustrated breath at how uncool he was.

Cyrus then spent the first few days at the ski lodge with his mom and stepdad, they could tell something was bothering Cyrus but he didn’t want to open up to them so they didn’t push. Instead Cyrus mopes around the common room and avoided them both and the slopes all together.

On Christmas night, Cyrus uses the satellite phone at the front desk to call his friends and wish them a Merry Christmas, he was also checking they were ready to drive up with Jared the following day. Buffy grew suspicious of Cyrus’ questioning when it came to TJ as Cyrus was fishing to see if TJ had said anything about not coming. After Buffy questions his odd behaviour, Cyrus wraps up the conversation quickly and unfortunately still had no idea if TJ would be joining them the following day.

Now, late in the evening on the 26th, Cyrus practically pounces at Jared’s car when it pulls up. Buffy gets out of the passenger seat and greets Cyrus with a wave, Andi and Jonah surface from the backseat and wave of disappointment washes over Cyrus as he assumes TJ in fact didn’t come but then the basketballer surfaces from the other side of the car before sheepishly retrieving his bag of belongings from the boot.

“I’m glad you made it.” Cyrus says quietly to TJ as he helps retrieve a few of the other bags in the car boot. TJ gives him a small smile but basically brushes Cyrus off.

“Let’s get you all settled in the cabin and then we’ll show you around the main lodge before we have some dinner.” Todd takes charge.

“Uh, Todd?” TJ moves closer to him. "I’m feeling a little carsick, is it alright if I skip the tour and dinner?”

“Of course,” Todd says, “You can hang out in the room and we’ll bring you back something just incase you’re feeling hungry later.”

Cyrus‘ parents had rented a private cabin at the lodge so the boys were in one room and the girls were in another whilst Jared had is own room away from the young teens.

In the boys room, Jonah is giving the place his enthusiastic stamp of approval, oblivious to the tension between Cyrus and TJ. “I’ll take the single bed if you guys want?” Jonah points to it, the other option being a double bed.

“Why would we want?” Cyrus laughs nervously.

“You’re both taller than me?” Jonah is confused by his reaction. “I just assumed it would be comfier..”

“Right.” Cyrus laughs anxiously again. “I’m fine with whatever you guys want.” Cyrus looks to TJ who shrugs.

As everyone was getting ready to walk over to the main lodge, Cyrus quietly asks TJ if he wanted any company to which TJ shakes his head no and then he goes on to rummage through his bag like he was busy. Cyrus told TJ he wouldn’t harass him to talk if he came on the trip and Cyrus intended to stand by that but it seemed that TJ didn’t want to talk to Cyrus at all and that was honestly crushing for him.

Cyrus didn’t see much of TJ at all for the rest of the evening, after the group returned back to the lodge from dinner, they all sat around the cosy living room enjoying conversation by the fire whilst TJ hung out in the boys room. Cyrus tries his very best to enjoy the company of his family and friends but his mind keeps wandering to TJ in the other room. By the time Cyrus turns in for the night, TJ was already asleep, or he was at least pretending to be, either way, Cyrus sadly climbs into bed. The two boys face opposite directions as they go to sleep.

The following day Cyrus wakes and discovers he’s alone in the room. He gets up to find his friends in the kitchen all eating breakfast, most of them ready for the day.

“Morning sleeping beauty.” Andi says with a smile.

“We thought we were going to have to go skiing without you.” Buffy laughs.

“Is it that late already?” Cyrus yawns as he checks his watch. “I didn’t fall asleep until late, I’m sorry.”

“Something keeping you up, Cookie?” Leslie asks as he hands her son a plate of breakfast.

“Nothing more than usual.” Cyrus brushes it off casually and sits himself off to the side to eat.

Soon after breakfast, Cyrus’ group of friends were out in the cold air ready for a ski lesson. Buffy insisted that she would be fine to bypass this step but since all her friends were partaking in the beginners introduction lesson she tagged along too. 

TJ’s cold shoulder towards Cyrus continues and as a result Cyrus ends up having better banter with the young ski instructor than TJ. Eli’s parents own the lodge they’re at, he’s the same age as the young friends and Cyrus had briefly encountered him around the lodge prior to today’s lessons and his friends arriving.

The ski lesson went for longer than scheduled as everyone —excluding TJ— was messing around and getting off track. Afterwards the group takes a break for lunch where Cyrus continues to feel the frostiness emanating from TJ. Cyrus wasn’t even trying to talk to TJ but somehow TJ still seemed off towards Cyrus in response to anything he was doing. Cyrus would be lying if he said that TJ’s distant behaviour wasn’t killing him and it wasn’t even the confusion he felt because of the kiss, it was more so because of a friendship he deeply valued being ignored and hurt in the process.

After lunch wraps up, the group of teenagers are getting ready to hit the slopes, Cyrus however decides to hang back, making light eye contact with TJ as he says they should all go ahead without him. Most of the group gently protest but Cyrus insists he’ll catch up with them later. They go ahead and after, as Cyrus is leaving the lobby of the main lodge he quite literally bumps into Eli —his ski instructor from earlier— and the stack of papers Eli was holding scatter all over the floor. Cyrus apologises profusely as he scrambles to help pick them up.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine” Eli laughs softly.

“Sorry.” Cyrus says one last time with a frown as he hands the last of the loose papers to him.

“Cyrus, right?” Eli asks even though they exchanged names the day Cyrus arrived at the lodge. Cyrus nods and Eli continues, “I could’ve sworn I saw your friends on their way to the ski lift, you’re not going with them?"

“Nope.” Cyrus shakes his head.

“When I asked you the other day why you weren’t out skiing with your parents you said you were waiting for your friends,” Eli cocks his head in a questioning manner, “What’s your excuse this time?”

“I could tell you but I’d probably be lying.” Cyrus admits.

“Mysterious.” Eli says with a smile.

“There’s a word no one has ever used to describe me.” Cyrus laughs. “Aside from avoiding some personal issues... I’m just a lousy skier, I’m trying to save myself the injury.”

“Even after my terrific lesson this morning?” Eli jokes and Cyrus smiles in response.

“What is it you’re doing?” Cyrus eyes the mess of papers Eli holds.

“I’m helping my parents organise some of the paperwork- Data entry, all that boring stuff.” Eli sighs. “My older brother is spending the holidays with his girlfriend so I’m trying to help out.” 

Cyrus’ excitement picks up, “Want some help?”

“You’re on a ski trip with your friends and you want to hang out with me and do data entry?” Eli raises a brow.

“I love organising things, making lists is a hobby of mine.” Cyrus says enthusiastically and it makes Eli smile.

“Sure. I wont say no to the help, or the company.” Eli accepts the offer with his smile unwavering.

Spending the afternoon with Eli was a much welcomed distraction from Cyrus’ drama with TJ. He almost completely forgot about his worries as he was so caught up in the moment with Eli. The two were having such a good time —doing data entry of all things— that they lost track of time. It’s not until the other teens return from the slopes that the two check back in to reality.

“You’re done already?” Cyrus’ laughter from a joke Eli had told prior to them walking in tapers off.

“It’s not far off dinner.” Andi says as she crinkles her nose.

“Really?” Cyrus is surprised. “I guess I lost track of time.”

“You better get going.” Eli says. “Thanks for you help.”

“No problem.” Cyrus gets up.

“I have the day off tomorrow so to say thank you I could help you with your skiing?” Eli offers, “You know, if you’re worried about injuries.”

Cyrus thinks back to how excited he was when TJ offered to help him ski but now Cyrus knew there was no chance of that happening anymore, not with how cold TJ’s been so Cyrus accepts Eli’s offer with a smile.

The following day Eli shows up as the gang is getting ready to leave. Cyrus waves off his friends and tells them to go ahead, he might catch up with them later. TJ is still distant from Cyrus and sadly he was getting used to it now. Cyrus thought he might have to prepare himself for this to be their new normal. Although that was a terribly upsetting thought, he tries his best to push it aside and put on a smiley face for Eli who has kindly offered to help him today.

Once out on the slopes, Eli gives Cyrus another beginners lesson. Now that it was just the two of them Cyrus was able to absorb more of the information. Again, spending time with Eli made Cyrus forget all his troubles with TJ and all that lingering anxiety melted away enough for him to really enjoy himself.

After the lesson, Eli manages to coax Cyrus onto the bunny slopes. Cyrus was his usual Cyrus-y self and showed some serious incoordination on the first few goes. A few tumbles hurt more than others but there were no serious injuries. It also helped that Eli was along for the ride to help Cyrus up each time he tumbled. After a few runs, Cyrus manages to get the hang of it and he also manages to enjoy himself rather than find the experience completely terrifying.

That night at dinner Cyrus could not shut up about his day. Cyrus was patting himself on the back for his efforts and talking about his skiing escapes like he was an olympian. After they finished their meal, the group get ready for a movie night in the rec room that Eli had told them about. Cyrus isn’t surprised that TJ doesn’t want to join them but he’s still upset by it all the same.

After returning from the movie night Cyrus goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth, he’s spooked when he walks in on TJ already doing the same thing.

“Sorry.” Cyrus says and he presses the hand holding his toothbrush against his chest and feels his fast paced heartbeat.

TJ said something but it was muffled by the toothbrush in his mouth. Cyrus takes this as a good sign and decides to enter the bathroom properly. 

“We missed you at the movie night.” Cyrus says as he puts toothpaste on his brush.

“I was tired..” TJ shrugs.

“Yeah…” Cyrus half smiles thinking that was an obvious lie as TJ was still awake. “So… Did you have fun skiing today?”

“Yeah.” TJ bops his head as he rinses off his toothbrush. “You sounded like you did.”

“Maybe sometime before we go home I’ll actually make it off the baby slopes.” Cyrus jokes.

“Good thing you have Eli to help.” TJ says and Cyrus frowns. That felt like a snarky remark, it almost felt like a _jealous_ quip but it was the most the two have spoken in a week so Cyrus had no idea what to think and surely enough TJ escapes the conversation quickly after, therefore leaving Cyrus alone and admittedly a little annoyed. At first Cyrus was hurt by TJ’s distance but now it was just frustrating. Cyrus could understand if TJ didn’t want to talk about it or if he was scared too but the hostility was necessary.

With a huff, Cyrus makes his way to the kitchen where he grabs a box of cereal and plonks down on an armchair close to the dying fire. Cyrus has a mouth full of dry cereal when he hears someone exit one the the rooms. Buffy emerges from the hallway with a quizzical look on her face.

“Oh, it’s you.” Cyrus feels a little disappointed, “Hey Buffy.”

“Don’t be too excited to see me, I’m only your best friend of eight years…” Buffy frowns as she approaches.

“Sorry.” Cyrus apologises weakly.

“Is everything okay, Cy?” Buffy drapes herself on the arm of his chair, her arm resting on the back for support.

“Yeah I’m just not tired.” Cyrus lies.

“That’s not it.” Buffy rejects his explanation. 

“How do you know?” Cyrus questions. 

“You’re eating cereal from the box, you only do that when something’s bothering you.” Buffy says knowingly. 

“Curse my transparency.” Cyrus frowns as he shovels another handful of the cereal into his mouth. 

“Again I say: best friend of eight years right here,” Buffy raises her hand, “And I know when something is bothering you.” 

Cyrus’ frown falls to something sadder. 

“You’ve been acting weird since Andi’s party.” Buffy highlights, “Want to talk about it?” 

“I can’t.” Cyrus shakes his head.

“Yes you can. You can tell me anything.” Buffy holds Cyrus’ gaze.

“Not this.” Cyrus shakes his head.

“Does this have something to do with TJ?” Buffy questions.

“What makes you think that?” Cyrus looks away nervously.

“I don’t know,” Buffy tosses her head from side to side,  “Maybe it’s because you two haven’t spoken to each other since we arrived?”

“We’ve spoken…” Cyrus says unconvincingly.

“Hardly.” Buffy coaxes her head. “Cyrus, I know you like TJ..” Buffy says gently, “Like, _really_ like TJ.”

“What?” Cyrus’ voice is bouncy over the word, “I don’t-“ Cyrus drops his lie with a frown. “Is it obvious?”

“A little..” Buffy admits, “But you’re my best friends so I notice these things.”

Cyrus’ smile is small as Buffy’s last statement was a little comforting knowing the whole world might not know. “How long have you known?”

“A while. I wasn’t certain at first but I had my suspicions. I wasn’t going to say anything because I was hoping you’d tell me yourself.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Cyrus, don’t apologise.” Buffy shakes her head, “You don’t have to tell me.”

“But I wanted to.” Cyrus is genuine.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me about your feelings because they were for TJ and with out past and all...”

“It’s not that.” Cyrus shakes his head, “I just didn’t want to talk about the crush and make it real.. That opens the door for more soul crushing disappointment.”

“Who said it has to end in disappointment?”

“Buffy.” Cyrus scoffs as he throws his head to the side.

“What?” Buffy shrugs innocently. “I’m being serious... I know it’s not my place to speculate but if it was Andi or Jonah we’d be okay talking about it, trying to work out if they have feelings for each other…”

“Buffy.” Cyrus is assertive as he wants her to get to the point.

“I think maybe TJ could sort of like you too…” Buffy says with a soft smile.

“That’s- That’s-  _Crazy!_ ” Cyrus shakes his head in disbelief.

“Is it though?” Buffy questions. “I really don’t think it is.”

Cyrus couldn’t accept this ‘revelation’, TJ had literally kissed Cyrus is the last week but he still couldn’t believe that TJ could ever like him back.

“I don’t want to talk about TJ.” Cyrus shuts it down. 

“Fine, let’s talk about Eli.” Buffy changes the topic with a small smile. 

“What about him?” Cyrus knits his brows. 

“He’s so clearly into you.” Buffy says as if it was obvious.

“What?” Cyrus chokes on a laugh. “No he’s not.” 

“Yes he is.” Buffy insists. “He does this dreamy little slow blink with his eyes when he’s talking to you.” 

“He does what?” 

“You know, the kind of gesture you do when you’re trying to look cute in front of your crush?” Buffy smirks. 

“No. I do not know.” Cyrus insists. 

“It’s kind of like your shy little smile and shoulder shrug combo you do in front of TJ.” Buffy giggles. 

“Buffy, shh.” Cyrus hushes as he was worried someone was going to overhear them. 

“Sorry.” Buffy whispers with another giggle and she imitates Cyrus’ ‘tell’ causing him to go red with embarrassment. Buffy lets her soft giggles taper off before softening and seriously saying, “One of these days you’re going to like a boy enough to want to do something about it. I think that boy is TJ and that’s why you’re acting so weird.” 

Cyrus keeps quiet, she was half right but he didn’t want to give her anything that would invite for her to press further. 

“I _completely_ understand if you’re not ready to explore your feelings. I just don’t want you distancing yourself from TJ because you’re afraid of what could happen.” Buffy smiles.

“All the sudden you’re team TJ?” Cyrus questions, “A couple weeks ago you didn’t even want us being friends.” 

Buffy frowns lightly, “Eli is super dreamy and charming whilst TJ is problematic and sometimes mean... but he also encourages you and brings out a side of you i’ve never seen in all the years I’ve known you. He makes you happy, Cyrus and that’s all that matters to me.” 

Cyrus’ smile is soft and Buffy’s grin widens. “That was really sweet,” Cyrus says, “But if you think I’m going to run in the room blurting out confessions you’re mistaken.” 

Buffy’s face falls into an unimpressed look. She sighs, “The ski trip isn’t over yet.” 

“Don’t hold your breath.” Cyrus mumbles and Buffy gets up to leave. As she walks back towards her room she stops to taunt Cyrus with his ‘tell’ one more time before disappearing down the hall with a giggle. 

Cyrus sinks back into his seat with a sigh, he hears noise coming from the hall again. 

“I thought you were done teasing me, Buffy?” Cyrus grumbles. 

“Uh, not Buffy.” TJ’s says sheepishly and Cyrus whips his head around at the sound of his voice. 

“Sorry,” Cyrus shakes his head. “I thought you went to bed?” 

“I did.” TJ goes into the kitchen and gets a glass of water. “I couldn't sleep...” 

“TJ-” 

“I’m going to go back now.” TJ nudges his head towards the hall. 

“No.” Cyrus springs up from the armchair. 

“I thought you weren't going to pressure me to talk?” TJ frowns. 

“I haven't at all and I’m not going to.” Cyrus matches the frown as he approaches TJ, stopping on the other side of the counter. “But I have something so say and I think I deserve to be heard.” 

“Okay.” TJ nods shyly.

 _Am I really doing this?_ Cyrus silent frets, _god dammit Buffy got in my head_... Cyrus takes a deep breath and lowers his voice. “I don’t know why you kissed me. I don’t know if it was to be funny because we were under the mistletoe and then you felt weird about it so you’re being distant, or if it was because you were emotional over the gift, or if you’re confused about _who_ you like, or if it was just a joke all along and you felt bad about it afterwards-” 

“It wasn’t-” TJ cuts in but lowers his gaze sheepishly, “It wasn’t a joke.” 

“I didn't think it was..” Cyrus looks for TJ’s gaze but he was refusing to give it, instead he stares at his glass of water on the counter. “I think it meant something to you. I don’t know exactly what that is and if you don’t want to talk about it I respect that.” 

“Then why are we still talking?” TJ asks in a jerky way. 

“Because I care about you TJ and I know what it’s like to be confused and _so_ afraid to talk to someone.” Cyrus says after letting the hostility slide.

TJ finally lifts his stare back up and meets Cyrus’, a quizzical look on his face like he was trying to work out exactly what Cyrus’ last comment meant. 

“I told you that you didn't have to talk about what happened at Andi’s party but I needed to...It takes two to mistletoe.” Cyrus jokes but it falls flat with TJ so he softens again, preparing himself to be more vulnerable than he’s ever been before, “I wanted you to kiss me at Andi’s party.. I wanted you to kiss me because I like you, TJ and I’m not sure if admitting that makes things worse for us but that’s my truth.” 

A million emotions seem to wash over TJ all at once, shock, confusion, hope, fear. TJ frowns, his gaze lowers again for what felt like forever before he finally finds Cyrus’ stare again, “You’re wrong,” TJ says weakly and it looked like he was struggling with what he was about to say next, “The kiss, it didn’t mean anything to me.” 

Cyrus could tell TJ was lying but even knowing that he was didn’t soften the pain his words inflicted. 

“Okay.” Cyrus nods sadly with a shrug, “If that’s your truth... Goodnight, TJ.” 

TJ retreats back to the room first, it was like he couldn’t get away from that conversation fast enough and Cyrus couldn’t blame him. Cyrus would have gone home right there and then if he could. Cyrus would have been happy for the floor to open beneath him and swallow him whole. Cyrus waits a little while before going to the room himself and when he finally does climb into bed he knows TJ is still awake although neither of them acknowledge the other. Back to back they lay down for sleep. They were quite literally closer than they had ever been and yet Cyrus had never felt more distant from TJ as he did now. As he lay awake, Cyrus finds himself wishing he could un-wish his wish about wanting TJ to kiss him because Cyrus fears it might have cost him a really important friendship.


	6. Tick Tock

Cyrus Goodman was not a risk taker and the rejection from TJ reminded him why that was. Cyrus had no idea what his confession would do to their friendship but at least Cyrus found comfort in his belief that TJ wouldn’t tell anyone else about what he shared. Although the rejection and possibility of losing a friend was devastating, Cyrus knew deep down that eventually —some time in the _distant_ future— he’d look back on this and be proud of himself for owning his feelings. Although Cyrus believed he might one day look back and realise it made him stronger, today —the morning after his confession— Cyrus was ready to feel sorry for himself.

After a broken nights sleep, Cyrus resigns to the fact that he would be up before the sun was. Cyrus creeps out of bed where TJ still sleeps and tiptoes past Jonah who is also still snoozing in the single bed beside them. Cyrus continues his escape quietly and goes across the hall. Cyrus gently knocks on the girls door and after he hears some sleepy grumbles he pokes his head through the door and asks if he can come in.

“Cyrus?” Buffy sleepily props up her head. Andi lay next to her in the double bed with a tired and confused expression.

“The sun isn’t even up yet.” Andi grumbles.

“I need to talk to you guys.” Cyrus lets himself in.

“Talk to Buffy.” Andi rolls over and cradles her pillow.

Cyrus ignores Andi’s lethargic behaviour and disturbs her further by climbing on the bed and wedging himself between his two best friends. “I spoke to TJ.” Cyrus says with an exhale.

“You did?” Buffy’s interest spikes and this seems to wake her up. “What did you say?”

“TJ?” Andi gives in and sits herself up too. “Am I missing something?”

“I told TJ that I like him.” Cyrus says quickly.

“You did?” Buffy and Andi say in unison, both sporting jaw dropped expressions.  

“You were the one that encouraged me to.” Cyrus sends Buffy a frantic look.

“I know, I’m just surprised.” Buffy is in shock. “What did he say?”

“Hang on a second.” Andi interjects. “You like TJ?”

“Yes.” Cyrus nods.

“Since when?” Andi questions.

“I don’t know when.” Cyrus frowns.

“I thought you liked Jonah?” Andi is confused. “Do you like them both?”

“No, his crush on Jonah went away.” Buffy answers.

“It did?” Andi asks.

“Before summer.” Cyrus states.

“And you knew?” Andi turns to Buffy.  “I mean you knowing the TJ thing isn’t surprising, you all hang out together more than I do but why didn’t you tell me about Jonah? Why don’t you guys tell me anything anymore?”

“Andi, focus?” Buffy sends her a look.

“Right.” Andi looks disappointed, “Not about me…”

“What did TJ say?” Buffy asks, “No wait! Start from the beginning. I left the room and then what?”

Cyrus gives Buffy a look begging for her to calm down. “You left, TJ came out to get a drink of water, I cornered him and told him I liked him.” 

“And?” Buffy is eager for more details. 

“He doesn’t feel the same way and I’m never leaving this room.” Cyrus wriggles down further under the covers. 

“He said that?” Buffy furrows her brows. “He said  _‘I don’t feel the same way’_?” 

“Not exactly...” Cyrus mumbles. 

“It kind of feels like you’re leaving out part of the story?” Andi lightly accuses.

“I might have redacted a few unnecessary facts…” Cyrus shrugs.

“Cyrus!” Both Andi and Buffy grip onto either of his arms.

“Tell us _everything._ ” Buffy demands.

“I can’t.” Cyrus shakes his head.

“Why not?” Andi questions.

“Because some things aren't mine to share.”

“But did TJ explicitly ask you not to tell us?” Buffy asks. “It doesn't count unless he asked.”

“It’s one of those unspoken things where you just know they don’t want you to talk about it.” Cyrus pouts over their constant pushing. 

“Kind of like when I told you that Bex wasn’t really my sister?” Andi coaxes her head.

“My mom spread that around, not me!” Cyrus defends.

Andi shakes her head with a smile, “You don’t have to tell us.” 

“Yes he does!” Buffy laughs. 

“No he doesn’t!” Cyrus says. “I told you it’s irrelevant anyway.”

“It doesn’t make sense, I thought you were acting weird because you like TJ but now there’s some secret information about him that you can’t share?” Buffy tries to make sense of it. “What happened between you guys-” 

“Buffy stop.” Cyrus is assertive. “ _That_ has nothing to do with this.” Cyrus lies, “That was about TJ’s family and out of respect I don’t want to discuss it with you.” 

“Okay, sorry.” Buffy apologises for being invasive. 

“So,” Andi says after the mood in the room was off, “What are we going to do now?” 

“I already told you, I’m never leaving this room.” Cyrus pouts. 

“Then neither will we.” Buffy says with a smile and Andi mimics it, they both wriggle down beside Cyrus offering comforting cuddles. 

Although it was a nice sentiment that they’d spend all day in the room avoiding Cyrus’ problems, the three did however need to surface eventually when the grumbles of their stomachs were too obnoxiously loud to ignore. They brave the kitchen and learn that TJ and Jonah had already head out for the day with Jared thus making the original good hair crew members more comfortable about exiting the girls room. 

After Cyrus’ parents leave, the three childhood best friends have the cabin to theirselves and decide to spend the day inside. A day in their pyjamas, eating junk food and watching movies unfolds. Whilst the relaxing day wasn’t enough to make Cyrus forget about his troubles it was enough to make him not completely wallow in them all day. 

It wasn’t until Jonah, TJ and Jared return from skiing that Cyrus sinks back into his mopey mood. TJ doesn’t say anything when he arrives, he just gives the three a hard to read look before retreating to the bathroom to shower. 

“That makes me so mad.” Buffy lets out a groan. 

“That he takes his personal hygiene seriously?” Andi jokes. 

“I’m fully aware TJ can be a jerk but I never expected him to be a jerk about this.” Buffy folds her arms. “I might have been wrong about his feelings but I always thought TJ would be supportive of who Cyrus likes.” 

Cyrus hangs his head back in frustration. It was hard not sharing all of the information with his friends. Right now Buffy believes TJ has pulled away because Cyrus likes him when in actuality there was a kiss that sparked that distance first. Although the gaps in the story were frustrating, Cyrus took what he could get as even the sketchy story he gave them was better than not being able to talk about it at all. 

“I don’t think it’s that I like boys, I just think it’s surprising that I like _him._ ” Cyrus tries to defend TJ. 

“Still.” Buffy purses her lips. 

-

The following morning the group eat breakfast in the cafeteria rather than at their cabin. The whole time, Cyrus could feel anger emanating off TJ. It wasn’t until everyone else left for the snow hike that Cyrus got any clarity about TJ’s seemingly frustrated mood. 

Cyrus had opted out of the snow hike due to his less than enthused attitude towards the athletic activity. TJ also opted out but he had been in a sulky mood this entire trip so Cyrus wasn’t too surprised by him wanting to avoid spending time with the group. 

Cyrus was just about to leave the cafeteria when TJ stops him. “You told them didn’t you?” TJ asks. 

“Told who, what?” Cyrus is confused. 

“Andi and Buffy about the, _you know._ ” TJ lowers his voice even though they’re in an almost empty room as breakfast had wrapped up. 

“You can say kiss, it’s not a bad word” Cyrus says with a newfound bravery sparked from an annoyance with TJ that was bubbling, one that Cyrus didn’t have any idea was building until now. “And no I didn’t.” 

“Then why do they keep giving me looks?” TJ asks. 

“I don’t know, maybe because you’ve come on a ski trip with them and you’ve spent the whole time being grouchy?” Cyrus coaxes his head in a challenging way. 

TJ rolls his eyes and another wave of frustration hits Cyrus after things were evidently going nowhere. 

“Buffy was suspicious of why you were being weird, after all it’s not like us to not talk.” Cyrus frowns, “I told her that I like you and you don’t like me back. That’s it. That’s all the information I shared.” 

“Great so now she just thinks I’m being a jerk?” TJ huffs. 

“You _are_ being a jerk.” Cyrus is firm. “Why did you even come on this trip? I know I told you I wouldn’t pressure you to talk about it but why come at all if you were planning on ignoring me?” 

TJ is unresponsive and continues to look uncomfortable about it all. 

“Well?” Cyrus presses with a heavy sigh, “TJ, if you don’t want to be friends anymore can you just say? It will be a lot easier for me if you just tell me so I can move on.”

“You think I don’t want to be friends anymore?” TJ looks upset. 

“Maybe?” Cyrus shrugs. “You don’t seem to want to talk to me anymore.” 

“That’s not what I want.” TJ frowns. 

“Then what do you want?” Cyrus questions. 

“I don’t know.” TJ lets out a frustrated breath. 

“Let me know when you work it out, okay?” Cyrus wears a defeated look before exiting the cafeteria. 

On his escape route out of the main lodge, Cyrus is flagged down by Eli. 

“Hey, where’s the fire?” Eli holds a hand out to stop him. 

“I was just, I don’t know.” Cyrus was too upset to fabricate an excuse. It didn’t help that Cyrus witnessed TJ also storm past them and out of the lodges main entrance. 

“Having some trouble with your friend there?” Eli pricks up a brow as he watches after TJ for a second. Cyrus remains quiet. 

“Or we can not talk about it.” Eli holds his palms out defensively. “Got any plans today?” 

“Just my regular scheduled pity party.” Cyrus laughs nervously. 

“Want to bring that pity party into town with me?” Eli asks. “I have to pick up a few things for the new years eve party tomorrow.” 

“Sure.” Cyrus lets out a big sigh, “Anything beats hanging around here all day.” 

Eli laughs anxiously, “I don’t know if I should be more offended that you don’t like my family’s lodge or if spending time with me is just a small step up from the worst thing you could be doing...” 

Cyrus’ expression crumbles, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to sound like that.” 

“It’s okay.” Eli nudges him, “You’re totally doing me a favour by keeping me company anyway.”

The two make their way into town on foot. It isn’t much of a walk from the lodge to the little village but it is freezing cold in the snow and Cyrus quietly thinks he’s somehow been tricked into going on that hike he opted out of. Although the walk wasn’t Cyrus’ favourite part, the trip into town lifted his spirits. Cyrus helped Eli run his errands and they stopped for ice cream despite the frosty weather. 

“You’re right, this did make me feel better.” Cyrus says as he holds his ice cream cone in hand. 

“I told you, it’s impossible to feel sad with a triple scoop in hand.” Eli says proudly. 

“So is it in your job description to make mopey guests less mopey?” Cyrus questions. 

“Only the cute ones that are willing to help me with data entry.” Eli says with a smirk and Cyrus chokes on his mouthful of ice cream which causes Eli to chuckle. 

“This does not happen to me often but I am at a loss for words.” Cyrus laughs nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I like you and everything but I know you and your friend —was it TJ?— have some unresolved feelings.”

“You like me?” Cyrus is shocked. 

“That’s not the part of the sentence you’re supposed to be surprised about.” Eli laughs. “You’re supposed to be like, _‘you know I like TJ, what?_ ’” 

“Apparently I’m more obvious with my feelings than I would like.” Cyrus frowns. 

“No more obvious than your friend is with his.” Eli states. 

“See I don’t see that.” Cyrus shakes his head. 

Eli coaxes his head, “You don’t?” 

“No.” Cyrus says innocently. 

“Every time I’m with you and he's around, he acts like a jealous boyfriend.” Eli laughs. 

“He’s not normally like that.” Cyrus insists. 

“Has something happened recently to change things?” Eli questions. 

 _A kiss.._ Cyrus thinks to himself and Eli notices Cyrus in thought. “See, I thought so.” Eli says knowingly. 

“So maybe things are different now but that doesn’t mean he likes me.” Cyrus shakes his head. 

“I think you know he likes you, you just won't admit that to yourself because if you do it means you might have to do something about it.” 

“You sound like my friend Buffy.” Cyrus thinks this sounds eerily familiar to his conversation with Buffy the other night. 

“The competitive one that tried to teach me how to ski during the lesson?” Eli questions. 

“The one and only.” Cyrus laughs.

“Well she is pretty smart so maybe you should listen to her.” Eli says with a light smirk. 

“Or I could pretend like nothing is going on and avoid it forever?” Cyrus exaggerates a smile. 

“Tick tock, Cyrus. The end of the year is fast approaching, do you really want to start off the new one with regrets?” Eli is like a wise old owl.

“I already told TJ I like him.” Cyrus is almost defensive. 

“But did you tell him everything?” Eli questions, “Did you lay it all out on the table, win or lose he knows how you feel?” 

“Yes?” Cyrus sounds more uncertain now. 

“Does he know that no matter what happens you’re there for him either way?” Eli continues. 

“I think so...” Cyrus is panicked by this line on questioning. 

“You have to tell him.” Eli says simply with a shrug of his shoulder, “Tick tock.”

“You’re really intense.” Cyrus laughs nervously. 

Eli joins in on the chuckle but minus the nerves, “ _Thank you_.” 

After Eli’s encouraging push, Cyrus goes off in search of TJ. After checking a few places first and having no such luck, Cyrus makes his way to the rec room. Cyrus happens upon TJ at the keys of the grand piano. He solemnly pokes a couple but he stops when he notices Cyrus.

“I didn’t know you played?” Cyrus takes a cautious step towards him.

“I don’t.” TJ folds his hands in his lap. “I should probably go.”

“TJ, wait.” Cyrus leaps forward. “I want to talk and I promise I won't get all huffy with you like this morning. I just want to say something and then I’ll never speak to you again if that’s what you want.” 

“I know my actions might say otherwise but I don’t want you to stop talking to me.” TJ is sheepish. 

“Okay.” Cyrus nods with a small smile. “But I will stop talking _at_ you. I can’t have anymore one sided conversations, it’s driving me nuts.”  

TJ nods and waits for Cyrus to say his piece. Cyrus sits beside TJ on the piano stool although there is as much distance between them as possible. 

“I’m sorry I went crazy on you this morning. I was hurt —not that you didn’t like me back, I expected that much— but because I really value our friendship and it felt like you didn’t so I handled that poorly.” Cyrus apologises. 

“I do value our friendship, _a lot_.” TJ stresses. “I told you this morning I don’t want us to stop being friends.” 

“Me either.” Cyrus wears a sad smile. “So why does it feel like we can’t get past this? Whatever _this_ was?” 

“I don’t know.” TJ shakes his head. 

Cyrus’ sad smile remains as he tries to hold TJ’s eye contact, “I think you do know and you can’t admit it to me or yourself even.” 

“What are you saying?” TJ lowers his gaze. 

“I can’t sit here and claim I know how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking but I do know that you don’t believe you deserve to be happy. You practically said so yourself after the gun incident. You tend to sabotage things when they’re good for you...” Cyrus frowns, “It took a lot for me to get past your walls and I know when people get close you tend to push them away.. Like how you pushed me away after your suspension from the team and then when I asked about your family..” Cyrus is knowing but gentle with his analysis. “This morning I was all hurt and ready to walk away because I let myself forget that.” 

“Congratulations you’ve discovered I don’t like talking about my feelings.” TJ scoffs but Cyrus doesn’t let it get to him. 

“Have you ever been fishing?” Cyrus asks. 

“Fishing?” TJ wears a quizzical look. 

“Yes.” Cyrus is firm.

“Yes, I’ve been fishing.” TJ sighs and decides to go with it, “I used to go with my grandpa before he passed away.” 

“You know when you get a bite and the fish tugs on the line?” Cyrus asks but he doesn’t pause, “You don’t just drop the fishing rod and let the fish go. You hold tighter and pull it back in.”

“Are you calling me a fish?” TJ raises a brow. 

“Yes I am.” Cyrus says, “But I’m also trying to tell you that although I’ll respect your wishes no matter what, I’m not letting go of the fishing rod.” 

TJ’s smile creeps wider on his face after Cyrus’ little analogy. “So you think you’re some great thing in my life?” 

“I guess I am.” Cyrus says with a laugh, “Although that’s not what I was trying to say and you weren’t supposed to take that away from the conversation.” 

“Thank you, Cyrus.” TJ says genuinely, “But I still have a few things to sort through, I’m not sure I can give you a response you’ll be happy with-”

“I’m not looking for a response.” Cyrus interjects. “I’m just trying to end my year without regrets and ending things on a huffy note with you would have been my biggest.” 

The conversation is over after that and Cyrus felt like they had made progress although they weren’t back to their old selves, Cyrus wasn’t certain they’d ever be their old selves again but at least everything was out in the open, or at least everything on Cyrus’ side was out there.

That night when they were going to sleep, TJ didn’t immediately roll over to face away from Cyrus, instead they faced each other for a moment. TJ still seemed pretty emotionally drained but they smiled at each other for a second. To Cyrus that was progress and maybe a tiny glimmer of hope that their friendship was not lost forever.

-

The following day Cyrus wakes to find TJ and Buffy have disappeared before breakfast. 

“Where did Buffy go?” Cyrus asks Andi quietly in the kitchen. 

“She was gone when I woke up.” Andi shrugs. “Jonah said she and TJ left together pretty early this morning.”

“You don't think Buffy’s trying to get information out of TJ do you?” Cyrus frets. 

“She wouldn't do that.” Andi shakes her head, “Not unless TJ brought the situation up himself.” 

“And I’m doubtful he will..” Cyrus mumbles. 

Although Cyrus was curious as to what TJ and Buffy were up to, he tries to push that aside and focus on his own moves going forward. Cyrus enlists the help of his crafty best friend and the two offer their assistance to Eli as he helps decorate the rec room for the new years eve party that night.

Andi was in her element turning the basic decorations Cyrus and Eli had picked out the day before into ones worthy of a wonderland. Cyrus and Andi were off to the side having a laugh as they reflected on the past year. When the chuckles taper off, a small and almost sad smile crosses Cyrus’ face as he lets out a breath, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about not liking Jonah anymore. The crush in general was a little awkward to talk to you about and I guess I got used to not sharing..” 

“Don’t apologise,” Andi reaches forward and holds Cyrus’ hand, “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like my feelings for Jonah were more important than yours. I never want you to not talk to me.” 

Cyrus’ smile is more genuine now, “I don’t want that either.” 

“I hate new year resolutions-” 

“Me too.” Cyrus scoffs, “It’s like setting yourself up for failure.” 

“How about a friendship resolution instead?” Andi suggests. 

“I can work with that.” Cyrus smiles. 

“Let’s communicate better from now on?” Andi asks. 

“I think we’re already doing a better job of that.” Cyrus says with a smile as he pulls Andi in for a hug. 

The evening rolls around before they know it and Buffy and TJ still hadn’t turned up. Cyrus expresses to his parents that he was beginning to get worried  but they tried to calm him and said they knew the pair were going into town today and they had given them money to catch a taxi back to the lodge so they weren't walking in the dark. Cyrus tries to find comfort in this and gets ready for the party. 

After Cyrus was dressed and ready, there was still no sign of TJ and Buffy. Whilst Andi and Jonah go to the young adults party in the recreation room, Cyrus first goes to the function hall with his parents and brother to mingle a little with his family and the older crowd at the party they were attending. Jared was more suited for the younger party but he was trying to act mature and hang out at the boring party instead. After a respectable amount of time, Cyrus splits from the adults party and makes his way to the rec room where he was hoping to meet up with all of his friends but unfortunately upon arrival Cyrus only spotted Andi and Jonah grazing the snack table together. Cyrus was about to approach them when Eli stops him. 

“You made it.” Eli says with a smile.

“Of course. I had to see all my hard work.” Cyrus grins, “I’m practically a party planner after all this.”

“Practically.” Eli chuckles. “So, I was respectful and didn’t bring it up today whilst you were with Andi just incase but I’ve been dying to know. How did things go with TJ?” 

“I put it all on the table like you said.”

“And?” Eli questions. 

“I think he heard me but I don’t know.” Cyrus shrugs. 

“You don’t know?” Eli looks disappointed. “What do you mean you don’t know?” 

“I don’t know!” Cyrus huffs, “I thought last night maybe we were having a moment but then he’s been gone all day so I’m thinking he’s ignoring me still.” 

“Are you sure?” Eli’s smile pricks up and Cyrus follows his line of sight, his eyes land on TJ and Buffy as they enter the room. 

“I don’t know.” Cyrus says again but this time softer. 

“Last ditch effort, you two watch the fireworks together.” Eli says, “I know a few secret spots.” 

“Eli..” Cyrus tosses his head to the side. 

“What?” Eli smiles innocently. “There’s still an hour left of the year.” 

“Just yesterday you said you liked me, but you’re okay with trying to help me get the guy?” Cyrus questions. 

“Sometimes crushes turn out to be better friends and friends turn out more like crushes.” Eli shrugs. Cyrus smiles at that thought, he spies Jonah goofily dancing with Andi before making sheepish eye contact with TJ across the room. 

“Maybe this is an epic friendship in the making.” Cyrus turns back to Eli with a smile. 

“Or a love affair yet to be explored.” Eli wriggles his brows suggestively but breaks with a laugh, “I’m just kidding. Now go over to TJ before the jealously consumes him.” 

Cyrus was unsure if he should approach TJ or not since he was trying to give him space but before Cyrus could decide, TJ taps him on the shoulder. 

“TJ.” Cyrus is surprised when he turns around to find the basketball captain. 

“Can we talk?” TJ calls out over the music. 

“Yes.” Cyrus nods eagerly and he motions towards the doors that lead outside. 

The pair make their way out into the cold air and close the doors behind them, shutting the noise out along with it. 

“Hi.” TJ says nervously and he shivers in the cold air. 

“Hey.” Cyrus is just as bashful. “Where have you been all day?” Cyrus tries to be casual. 

“It’s a long story.” TJ frowns. “Lets just say everything went wrong and Buffy might not want to talk to me for a few days...” 

“That bad, huh?” Cyrus raises a brow. 

“What started as a quick trip into town turned into an all day disaster.” TJ shakes his head. 

“What were you two doing in town in the first place?” Cyrus questions.

“I was looking for something.” TJ says. 

“Did you find it?” Cyrus asks. 

“Kind of.” TJ laughs and Cyrus does too although he didn’t know what was funny. “It’s for you.” TJ says shyly. 

“For me? TJ you didn’t have to get me-” Cyrus’ expression curls into a confused one when TJ pulls the object out from his jacket, “-A coat hanger?” 

TJ rolls his head forward with a laugh. “The bait shop is closed for the holidays and I spent the day dragging Buffy around looking for a fish hook but the closest we found was a coat hanger.” 

Cyrus now looks at the coat hanger with a newfound fondness, his expression mirrors TJ’s when he received the popsicle stick frame. “You were going to give me a fish hook?” Cyrus looks up from the hanger to TJ with a hopeful expression. 

“I don’t want you to drop the fishing rod, or something like that.” TJ laughs quietly, “The analogy was a little skewed.” 

Cyrus laughs too but then people come outside and interrupt their conversation. TJ lets out a frustrated breath and Cyrus could tell it was hard for him to try and get out what he wanted to say. Cyrus wears a kind smile and gently pushes TJ around the corner of the building and away from the people. 

“I’m sorry I reacted the way I did.” TJ says when they’re alone again, “I’m sorry for how I’ve acted the past week and a half.” 

“It’s okay.” Cyrus assures, “I just as easily could have been the one to freak out.” 

“But you didn’t, you were all mature whilst I was a huge jerk and pushed you away.” TJ frowns. 

“TJ, it’s okay.” Cyrus says with an understanding smile. 

“It really isn't.” TJ shakes his head, “Nothing happened how I imagined it would and I messed it all up.” 

“What exactly were you imagining?” Cyrus wonders. 

“Cyrus, I hate feelings.” TJ whines. 

“I’m the last person in the universe that is going to judge you.” 

TJ lets out a sigh, he folds his arms to guard himself, “I’d be lying if I said I actually ever had any intention of telling you how I felt but in a perfect dream land _maybe_ I would say something and you’d be like ‘me too’ and then it would all be sunshine and rainbows.” 

Cyrus smiles at TJ’s embarrassed expression. “I can’t believe you imagined us getting together.” 

“Shut up.” TJ frowns and he gives Cyrus a gentle shove. 

“No, I just mean I never thought you’d like me back —I’m still not even sure if that’s what you are saying—” Cyrus says with furrowed brows. 

“That _is_ what I’m trying to say.” TJ palms his face and Cyrus’ smile picks up again. “Along with apologising for freaking out about it.” 

“Are you scared about liking me, or scared of what liking me means?” Cyrus questions. 

“It’s not like it was news to me. I mean sure it’s confusing and a whole thing but I’ve already spoken to my mom about it briefly and-” 

“You’ve spoken to your mom about being..” Cyrus didn't really want to fill in the blank. 

“Gay.” TJ finishes, “Yes. But that’s not why I freaked out. I mean yes it’s still pretty scary but I freaked out because _you_ were the boy I kissed. I don’t want to like you, Cyrus.” 

“Oh..”  Cyrus’ face drops. 

“No, no, thats not what I meant,” TJ says quickly, “I mean you’re too important to me. I thought I had ruined us by kissing you.” 

“My dozens of texts and voicemails didn't make you think otherwise?” Cyrus questions.

“I was scared that conversation would end along with our friendship.” TJ frowns. 

“You think I’m that kind of person?” 

“Not at all, but I was afraid if you knew about my feelings then things would be different between us.” 

“How come you still pushed me away when I told you I liked you too?” Cyrus asks. 

“I had convinced myself that feelings would wreck the friendship but I was already doing a good job of that myself...” TJ sighs, “And if feelings didn’t wreck the friendship I’m sure I would have done something to wreck a relationship.” 

“TJ-” 

“No, Cyrus,” TJ stops him, “Look how well I did under pressure, do you really want to commit to that?” 

“Yes I do.” Cyrus says firmly and he breaks with a nervous laugh. “TJ I like you, I liked you  _before_ you kissed me, I know how you react when you’re vulnerable. I _wanted_ you to kiss me.” Cyrus says, “TJ, you have every right to be confused by this. I am. Do you think I know how to handle this? I honestly probably wouldn't have said anything to you about how I felt either because I value our friendship so much.” 

“Do you think that’s all we should be then?” TJ asks. 

“I think the reason we couldn't seem to get over our fight is because we can’t _just_ be friends.” Cyrus says. 

“Well that’s inconvenient.” TJ huffs and Cyrus can’t help but smile. “So what do we do now?” 

“I don’t know.” Cyrus shrugs with a laugh, “This isn't how I imagined it would go either.” 

“So you have imagined it too?” TJ asks. 

“I picked the surprise kiss thing but it didn’t end like the mistletoe mishap.” Cyrus admits sheepishly. 

“What about Eli?” TJ questions. 

“Well I didn’t know him back when I pictured it...” 

“I mean what about him now?” TJ lightly rolls his eyes, “Do you like him?” 

“As a friend.” Cyrus nods, “But I like _you,_ TJ. That’s not going to change in a week.”

TJ looks almost relieved by Cyrus’ affirmation. “Okay so, do over?” 

“Like start over?” Cyrus questions. 

“I meant can I kiss you again?” TJ shifts nervously on his feet. 

“Oh, _oh._ ”

“Or did I make it weird by asking you?” TJ frowns. 

“No.” Cyrus shakes his head, “I think maybe we’re making it weird by asking if we’re making it weird?” 

“Maybe we should just let it happen naturally?” TJ suggests. “Whenever that may-” 

TJ is cut off by Cyrus taking the lead this time and initiating the kiss. Much like their first one under the mistletoe, they’re a little stiff, both their lips are cold from the frosty air and TJ is surprised by Cyrus’ actions but they loosen into the kiss and thankfully it didn't end just as Cyrus let himself enjoy it. It was still nerve wracking to say the least but Cyrus couldn't have wished for a more perfect moment.

“I didn’t want to wait, sorry.” Cyrus crinkles his nose as they part and TJ laughs, they’re still close enough that his warm breath brushes Cyrus’ skin. 

“That is okay.” TJ laughs again, his heart still racing from the kiss. 

“We should have timed this better.” Cyrus jokes, “We could have gotten it in right before midnight and then the fireworks could set off behind us, _pow, pow, pow._ ” 

“Or, we could just kiss again at midnight?” TJ suggests shyly but he’s smiling at Cyrus’ theatrics. 

“Or we could do that.” Cyrus chuckles. 

“Should we go find our friends?” TJ asks with a small smile. 

“Yeah.” Cyrus nods and they begin to make their way back inside but before they enter Cyrus stops TJ. “You know, this might not have been how we imagined it, but it wasn’t so bad, was it?” 

“Not bad at all.” TJ smiles.

The two knew they might still have a lot to work out but at least both of the teens enter the new year with no regrets. 

## THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter!! And sadly the last piece I will be writing for Tyrus as I'm off travelling for the next six months!! Thank you so much to everyone who's read this story and any of my past ones! You are such treasures in my life, I don't think you fully understand how deeply I appreciate you!! :) x

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! I'm excited for chapter two :)


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